Recently, my mind flashed back to something my daughter said years ago.
One night, my husband, my son, and I were about to watch The Lord of the Rings in the family room. So I set up a movie for my five-year-old daughter, Hannah, in my bedroom. She wasn’t thrilled. She wanted to stay with us. I told her I loved her and that she needed to go watch her movie now.
Hannah cried saying, “I know you say you love me, but you don’t show me you love me.”
Words that echo in my heart and still haunt me to this day.
I asked her what she meant. She said love is giving her hugs and kisses. I never knew her love language was affection until then. Obviously, I missed the mark. After that, I made a conscious effort give her xxxooo’s. She never brought it up again.
I wonder. Do I say I love my family and not show them—still? My husband and I tell our son all the time, “Actions speak louder than words.” We want him to show us he cares about his grades by applying himself and doing his best. Studying. Saying it is not enough.
I wonder how many times I say “I love you Lord,” and then go about my day ignoring Him and living according to my pleasure. What do my actions say to God? Or my family? My friends? Does my life show love? Or am I just lip service?
Life is not easy. It takes effort to show love. Whatever your love language. (Service, quality time, words of affirmation, affection, gifts. Based on the book The Five Love Languages.) Sometimes I’m all talk. I’m tired. Stressed. I do what is necessary, but without love.
But God asks me to die to myself daily; be a servant and an example. This is a daily battle. However whenever I do walk with God, living out of His love, I find gifts and treasures I never expected.
Loving is worth the sacrifice.
(c) 2005 Tiffany Stuart
Loving people in the way that THEY need to be loved…that is what I have been working on myself lately. Glad to know I am not alone in the journey. Thanks for sharing.
Extremely poignant, and direct to the point, of what many of us “hedonists” talk but then fall short of the walk.
Thanks for the reminder Tiff. I really struggled with loving my family this week. My husband was out of town, and I yelled at my kids more in one day than I had probably in the entire previous month!! My kids are watching me- all the time. Hopefully, when I mess up, as I did this week, I have the humility to say “I’m sorry” and ask for their forgiveness. I don’t want them to see me as hypocritical, though somedays I surely am. I want to tell them I love them AND show them! Thanks for the kick in the right direction.