Lately I’m wondering what is happening to me. The once prolific writer in me is now almost wordless. Is this the end of the writer in me? I can’t seem to think of anything to share here or anywhere else for that matter. Silence feels odd but almost good. Yet deep down, I love words..
I feel like there is a million and one writers who blog, tweet or post on Facebook. The chatter is endless. I don’t know when to pipe in and say my two cents or when to just listen. Truth be told I am not into competing for attention. That feels like striving and I prefer to live an uncomplicated life. Sometimes all of this online stuff feels like the opposite of simplicity. And yet I love people so I want to be a part of where people are at. Especially since it’s a rare gift to see someone in person these days. I am guilty of little face time with my local friends. It’s almost awkward to call and connect. Isn’t that a scary reality?
So I am processing my place in this online world and in life.
So many bloggers have great ideas and they blog 5 days a week. They amaze me with their faithfulness.. Others offer poetic prose, which I appreciate when I sit still enough to take their gift of words. I’m guilty of skimming because I struggle with focused reading online. Something about the glare and screen that tires me fast! Other writers share their raw hearts and I applaud their courage. Some bloggers are teachers. I could learn quite a bit from them. And still others use beautiful photography to speak a thousand words. I am in awe of the beauty they capture and then freely share.
And so I wonder:
What is the purpose of my blog after over 6 years anyway? I’ve grown in my faith, I’ve worked through some deep healing here, and yet the older I get, the more I realize I am still such a kid. Immature and often self-centered.
Why do I care so much about communication?
Why am I compelled to want to say my piece in written and spoken words?
Why is it so important to me to want to leave a trail of faith online? Am I trying to prove something? Is this some false sense of worth? I hope not.
With millions of blogs, what is unique about my voice? There are devotional writers all over the globe swimming in this online sea. So many who are much more consistent than I am. Sometimes I say why bother.
Anyway here’s what I know as I wonder:
1. This too shall pass.
2. God is in my today.
3. Wordless or not, I am complete in Christ.
4. Stillness is where God’s deeper work can occur.
5. I can’t live to compete with others. I must live to please God.
6. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, yes, the inconsistent me.
7. I am the only me in this world. Therefore, my voice is unique because I am unique.
8. In my restless wondering, I find myself looking more to Jesus, my Source of strength. There’s where real hope and answers are found.
9. The best thing I can do is honor God during this time by being still and getting to know Him more.
10. This is not the end, unless God says so. He gets the last word on my words.
So if, like me, you find your words are few lately, join me and let’s grab a hold of the Hand who holds us together. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith, right? So He knows our words more than we even know them. He will not fail us. He will strengthen and enlighten us as we seek His face. We need Him. He is the Word. He is the Life– and not just any life–everlasting life! Glory!
(PS I skipped my usual Sweet P prayer today and choose to write from my questioning heart. Maybe you can relate.)
Over the last few months I have come to realize I just need to keep my focus on Christ and not worry about the rest…..write when and only when HE tells me to…..speak when HE nudges me, etc. I have so much more peace about it all. HE reminded me recently “it is far bigger” than any book/s I may or may not publish. HE has much to teach me along the way and I very simply just need to be obedient.
Hugs,
andrea
Obedience is key. Listening is hard sometimes. My brain is busy. 🙂
Tiffany:
I have felt very much like you lately, I have felt somewhat empty when I go to write anything…..but then when I sit down to write about how I have nothing to write about, lo and behold, there is a post! Is it a post worth reading…??? I have no clue, I just know that I have to write it. We write because if we don’t the stone will cry out. It is all praise for Him….that is the reason we have to write. The world we live in today asks us to quench the Spirit, but we come here to our blogger brothers and sisters and we have receptive ears….echoes of praise.
Each and every blog, word, and individual has a unique thing to say!
Can I get an Amen!? Lori
Amen and amen. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement, Lori.
Mulling over similar feelings and trying to determine what to do. I know exactly how you feel.
Janis
Hi Janis, I am glad I am not alone here. But I wish I didn’t have to say that because it’s an awkward place to be. Wishing you God’s best.
Tiffany… I too know exactly what you mean. When you skim through my blog you will see that I have been very inconsistent. Sometimes it hits me & I can’t get past it until I write about it & sometimes wonder if I’ve lost my touch… words, rather. But the fact is God does give it to me when He is ready for it… not when I think I’m ready for it! I also want to thank you for your sweet comment about “Choose Today”. I am so glad that it ministered to you!
(((Hugs))) Angela J
Angela, wise words. And thanks again for your blog. It’s making a difference.
I can totally relate! I’m where you are. Words fail me. I love your number 5. “I can’t live to compete with others. I must live to please God.” AMEN! Thank You Father God!
Kimberly, thanks for understanding my position. And thanks for reminding me of who I live for. God, not people.
Thanks, Tiffany for stopping by KAT’s Meows today. Glad to find you in BlogLand; I’ll stop by your neighborhood again. Holy hugs, Kathie
Thanks, Kathie.
(((Tiffany)))
A stunningly beautiful, honest post, Tiffany. I, too, have lost my words and felt confused by the lack therein. I’ve been in a place of stillness before the Father over the last year–isolated in many ways and very lonely at times. I’ve been thankful for the snippets of words every now and again. It’s helped me to process my journey. That being said, I, too, question my place in this blogging community. Not having many “in the flesh connections” (as we only moved here a year ago and then quickly found out about my cancer… thus, little time to make new friends) I’ve grown to love and appreciate my blogging friends all the more. So I’m a bit caught right now, trying to figure out how to merge the two worlds.
I think that stillness before the Lord is a very good place to posture ourselves as we endeavor to follow his lead and share his Word. I’ve said it before, and I still believe it. The greatest kingdom work that we will ever do will not be from a stage or behind a microphone. The greatest work of our hearts is the one-on-one connections we make with God’s children. In a couple of weeks, we’ll be making a lot of those connections. I just pray that the “fuss of it all” won’t get the best of me.
You are right where you need to be for a strong working of the Lord. I’m so glad that I’ll get to see you in person. Until then, take good care of your heart and keep listening for God’s whispers of affirmation over you.
peace~elaine
PS: I’m coming in on Thursday and would love to have dinner with anyone who’s up for it! I’ll have my van, so I can cart a crew around.
So thrilled others are on the same page or season in their life. Going back to where I know I am safe..Him first! Such a peaceful place.
I think that you have done a wonderful job of inspiring others. I only wish that I could write as well as you do. Sometimes when we feel weakest God is able to make the best use of us.
Well, I have felt like that for a long time. Like two years. Once in a while I get a spurt of inspiration, and I know it is the Holy Spirit. Until then I am content to be working on the other things He places before me. Relationships “in the flesh” are one of them.
I just think sometimes He puts us on “simmer”. Sometimes we are hot, sometimes we are not. I have an elderly woman on my Woman’s Ministry Team. When I asked them to give a report on their ministry, she was very determined to let us know that even walking in the woods with the Lord is ministry to HIm. I love that. I think simmer is a place of being full without “putting out”. Perhaps refueling??
Love ya Tiffany!
Wait til you get back from She Speaks…you will more than likely be ON FIRE! Wish I was going. It is hard this year knowing so many I would like to meet in person…but one day…
It’s obvious that He has given you gifts of communication and has already prospered you in ministry in so many ways. Enjoy simmering!!!
I so relate to this. You echoed many of my thoughts. Thank you for your transparency…and for obediently sharing it. I especially liked #10! Praying for you, please do the same for me.
You know Tiffany, I have a post in my heart speaking to the matter of how we have become a relationship{less} society. What has happened to ‘real’ friendships, neighbors and a sense of community? I love blogland and have made many friends yet I too deeply miss the accountability and touch of a close relationship. However, I do believe that God provides opportunities through this media driven world to reach other’s with His heart. You have touched many lives through your blog and I for one am Grateful to have had the opportunity to meet you in real life and be friends in cyberland! Whatever you decide to do, because your heart is locked with His, will be used as a tool for His glory! I am honored to know you friend 🙂