Another rant.
Some things get me going. Like hearing about how parents withhold love from their kids for random reasons. I recently heard about a mom and her daughter having issues. They haven’t spoken in months and months, maybe even a year. When I asked why, I was told this mom isn’t happy with her adult daughter’s choices. She basically shut the door on their relationship and said, “Goodbye until you change.”
I know the daughter and what she needs most isn’t a shut door. She’s had enough of those in her life. Instead what she needs is a warm embrace and someone to tell her, “You are valuable. I accept you and love you just as you are.” I’m sure the mom needs some T.L.C. too. The cliche is true, hurting people hurt people.
This kind of stuff fires me up and hurts my heart. Both are believers.
Where’s the forgiveness?
Does it really matter who’s right or who’s wrong?
Why the words, “I’ll love you only if you…?”
Does holding a grudge benefit anyone?
Can’t two imperfect people just accept each other?
Where’s the unconditional love that Christ died to give us?
The worst part about this is that there are grandchildren in the picture. Currently, they get no relationship with their grandma. How sad!
As Christians, we are called to the ministry of reconciliation. What does that look like in your opinion?
I believe it’s never too late to make a right choice. Maybe that right choice requires humbling ourselves and saying we’re sorry. It may be hard, but we can start over again. Trust can be rebuilt. Wounds can heal. Imagine how different life would be if we actually lived out a radical form of love and forgiveness and grace. That is my prayer for this mom and daughter. For me and you.
This situation makes me look at my own life and evaluate my relationships. I don’t want my kids to feel the sting of my “conditional” love. I hope I never shut the door on them no matter how they act.
Life is too short to hide behind locked doors.
Relationships matter!
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Questions to ponder:
Have you slammed and dead-bolted your door? Maybe it’s time to unlock it and get some fresh air.
Are you ignoring that persistent knock? Consider peeking through the peephole and answering.
Is there a closed door you need to knock on? Remember, it’s never too late. You may not get an answer or a receptive greeting, but never stop praying and trying unless God makes it clear.
Important stuff Tiffany! We need reconciliation and love instead of I’m right you’re wrong…it’s definitely challenging though… We all need Jesus!
Thanks for posting!
Tiffany, my heart is there! It seems that the MAIN scheme of the enemy is to build walls between relationships. What people don’t realize is that if there is a wall between “each other” there is also a wall between us and God.
The word devil means slander. He is about division. May we never succomb! The Word says in the last days the love of most will grow cold…
Your prayers are the greatest gift for your friends. May we all be about that ministry! May the Lord heal and soften hearts!
Blessings!
Kathy
Tiffany,
I recently wrote a post about the heartache of a parent who has a child living apart from Christ. How hard that balance is to love the child and yet call sinful behavior what it is.
I once heard a very wise man say that when you are trying to resolve relationships “get as low as you can get, and then get lower!” It’s all about humility! You have to be so willing to yield because love always yields.
My relationship with my daughter is loving but it is one that grieves me because of her lifestyle and decisions. I just continue to pray pray pray and love love love.
God bless you for your wisdom in this post!
I have experienced a relative slamming the door in my face… for good… it was my deaf aunt, she was obsessed with “deaf pride” and disowned me when I decided that a deaf private school wasn’t for me. I enjoyed music and using my voice, but I was being harassed for it at the deaf school. I decided to go back to my mainstream school where I was able to take up speech therapy, since then, I haven’t heard from my aunt. It’s quite petty!
This may sound corny but I always think, “WWJD?”. Would Jesus slam the door in our faces because we don’t wear the right clothes, or have the ideal relationship? Nope, he keeps his door open and he comforts us while guiding us closer to the blessed lifestyle he intended for us to lead.
Great blog Tiffany!
This is a tough one, because I have a loved one who has chosen to live a sinful lifestyle that is definitely against the will of God, is definitely choosing sin over obedience… and she says that it is not a sin, that God has given her peace, and that it is her will for her life, regardless of what the scriptures say…
so, out of love I have tried to speak and show her the Truth and the deception of the enemy… but she continues to be blinded and does not see it, continues to say that it is ok with God, so in obedience to the scriptures (1 Cor. 5:11) I am no longer to fellowship with her… we do still email and meet occasionally to “discuss” the truth…
but it is so very hard…