My 12 year-old son, Justin, has a new passion— skateboarding. At first, I wasn’t pleased. I thought all skateboarders were punky. Judgemental of me, I know. Then I realized it’s just a sport. A dangerous one. It’s better than many other things he could be doing. Soon enough, he’ll be driving and dating. I think I’ll take skateboarding for now.
This summer, Justin bought his first deck from a skateboard shop. The guy who assembled his skateboard had 6 inch long colored spikes on his head like a porcupine. My thoughts weren’t good. But after watching and listening to him, I realized he just wants to be different. I wondered if he knew about God.
This fall, Justin met a new buddy, Hayden, who is a Christian and loves skateboarding, too. One day as I drove Hayden home after school, he named all the Christian pro-skateboarders. Then, I read an article in Focus on the Family’s magazine, Breakaway, about one of them.
Okay I’m wrong! Not all skateboarders love thrashing music with bad words in them. And not all of them want a skull design on their deck.
Ten days ago, we bought Justin new shoes from a skateboard shop. He had to have a certain brand, you know. He’s twelve. Justin walked with a bounce in his step admiring his new shoes, until he went to school and a classmate said the initials on his shoes stood for the band, Camp Kill Yourself. He mentioned it to me. I didn’t believe it. I thought the kid was trying to steal his joy. Then a few days later, he told me someone else told him the same thing about CKY that was all over the sides and heel of his shoes.
So, I researched the name on the internet, and sure enough, that’s what the initials mean. I read the band’s website. Sad. I cried as I read the lyrics to their songs. Words I won’t repeat. Raw thoughts. Comments about blood. Even a noose. A song about a gross sexual act. In one song, the F-word was like seasoning, sprinkled throughout.
Adio shoes sponsors many pro-skaters. One of them is Bam Margera and one of his favorite bands, which his brother is the drummer, is CKY. CKY‘s music plays in the background of many skate videos. So my guess is Adio shoes designed a shoe with one of Bam’s favorites on it.
I cannot tell you how betrayed I felt that society would put a band with that name on the side of a shoe. I felt like burning the shoes. But they were his only pair. Justin was a walking advertisement for something we had no clue about. We see initials all the time. It’s common. FYI, ASAP,WWJD, DNKY, DOB.
Yesterday after talking to a friend, I decided to return the shoes. I felt stupid trying to return ten-day-old scuffed up shoes. Yet this was a matter of principle. After praying in the car with my two kids, I walked with them and with purpose into the skateshop, asking God for courage and strength. A calm came over me.
Thankfully, the manager let us exchange the smelly shoes. He said he didn’t realize that the band CKY, stood for Camp Kill Yourself. But he thought he heard something like that once. Isn’t it funny how quickly kids remember something like that? It impacts them. It’s not good.
This blog is my way of screaming out for the innocence of our children. What is this world turning into? Killing yourself is not something I take lightly. It’s serious. One of the band members loves horror movies and thought the band name would make a great horror flick title. Oh that makes it all okay, doesn’t it?
**I’m trying not to become judgemental about skaters again. Help me Lord! I know we are all created with different interests. I love the diversity of people. Life would be boring if we were all the same. God loves each band member of CKY. Now I’m praying for CKY, asking and believing God to change their hearts. **
(c) 2005 Tiffany Stuart
Tiffany, your story rang true for me (unfortunately!), but my experience was finding a CD in my son’s room at that age. I knelt at his bedside an wept when I forced myself to read the lyrics. When he came home from school, we talked about it at length, and rather than give it back to the friend from whom he had borrowed the CD, I broke it in two pieces and threw it in the trash. I remember it like it was yesterday…but it was 11 years ago. The songs on the CD were written and sung (pornographic and degrading lyrics) by Adam Sandler, who, 11 years later, is a big Hollywood celebrity! That’s right. How many Adam Sandler movies are out there now? I have always boycotted his films, but it’s because I “knew him when”…when he was corrupting teenagers’ minds with things I couldn’t possibly repeat. I’m glad you took the shoes back. Your son will never forget that you did the right thing. You modeled what it means to live in this world, not of it.
Wow Tiffany! This was eye-opening for me. There are so many things out there that mean things to kids, but we, as parents don’t understand the meaning behind them. I watched a local news report not long ago where they were did a piece explaining that the colored plastic “jelly” bracelets kids wear these days have a different meaning behind them, depending upon the color. If the girls wore them, depending upon the color, they were “telling” the boys how far they would be willing to go, sexually. For instance, pink might mean they would be willing to kiss, green might mean they would be willing to have oral sex, and red might mean they would go “all the way”. I was so shocked!! My kids have worn those bracelets, very innocently of the meaning they might be sending out to others.
I’m glad you took the shoes back and that you told the manager why. I am sure that even they, unwittingly, promote things they have no idea about! You taught the kids a great lesson about how NOT to “fit in”, but to make the right choice! Thanks for sharing.
It is amazing what may slip thur without children and parents knowing. They have been doing these things for sometime now with books, games, clothing. It is great that Justin has a senitive spirit for these things also yourself as a parent. I can remember the time when I had to go to school and question why were they playing AC DC music in the classroom while the students did their school work. Now that my children are older I do not see or hear all these things. I often say I would like to be a fly on the wall at school to hear all the things are children are being taught and expose to. Well here is one idea for Justin, Have him go and buy some plain shoes and stick some sticky letters on them like SFJ= Skate For Jesus, DYKJ=Do you know Jesus?, JIL=Jesus Is Lord. And when people ask he will tell them and this would be his ministry. He could have meetings and games, and books and magazines. Go for it Justin!
Hi Tiffany…good writing! Good Message!
I have a friend who is a retired teacher now. He went to a conference in the School System about how to look for these things. The reason was because there was so much Satanic Worship in the Schools in CA in the 80’s. Ralph is a Christian and our girls grew up together. We parents were all concerned.
You are doing a great job with the kids. It gets harder to stay on top of things every year. Praise God! He can’t be outsmarted and everytime He will help us and show us what is best for our babies!
We have a very real and subtle enemy in our camp. He thinks that we are pretty ignorant but Praise God He reigns in our lives and helps us despite ourselves!
Love, Paulette
Tiffany, Yeh, for you and Justin. I am so proud that my grandkids have a Mom who pays attention and is strong enough to make it be known that this is unexceptable. Since I work around kids and parents each day, I see so much that goes right over parents head when it comes to some of the subliminal message stuff. jm
It takes courage to stand up for our convictions and stand up for what is right. I am proud of you for taking action and more importantly allowing the spirit of God to lead you to do the right thing. Sometimes the fear of judgement will paralyze us from taking action. Another great testimony of how bad is used for good for someone who loves the Lord and is called according to his purpose.
Wow Tiffany-Such an “enlightning” web-site you have going. I didn’t hear this from you, however, I’d like to comment on what Linda had to say. I like the idea of having Justin put his own initials on his shows. I just had my son’s letterman jacket embroidered and what a cool idea to have his shoes embroidered with the sayings Linda mentioned. Justin could have his own christian shoe line. That would be a incredible ministy plus that is the way “nike” started, in a garage.
I wanted to share what I heard Kay Arthur say on the radio. She said “pray for those you want to chanage and if that doesn’t work, it will change you and the way you feel toward them”. It’s all about the love factor:)