I’m in a place of transition, can you relate? I feel stuck in the middle of wanting to follow my deepest dreams to transitioning out of that and into reality. Sometimes dreams have to wait. Maybe that’s my story. If so, I don’t really like that idea because the older I get I wonder if I missed a turn. Or maybe I am just a dreamer and not a do-er. Truth be told I am guilty of wasting much time thinking versus doing. And for that, could there be a price to pay?
For the past 14 years (away from career and home with kids) I’ve searched my heart and asked God which way to go. I’ve sensed a path appear and I’ve followed it to writing articles and a book proposal, speaking various places and taking creative pictures. But I’ve also resisted following God because of fear. Unbelief and insecurity held me back. Wondering what people will think has stopped me from marketing my messages.
So here I am today at a crossroads.
With nothing on the horizon.
Sure, I have the She Speaks conference to attend next month, but beyond that there is nothing ahead. No writing assignments. No set plan to finish book idea/s. No more radio show hosting, we stepped back a few months ago. No more speaking engagements. Nothing is happening with the dream of my heart. It has all dried up. But the hard part is desire is still there, beating like a constant heartbeat.
Why?
Instead there appears to be change. Unexpected change ahead. Over the past couple weeks things have shifted on my home front and I’ve said yes to two part-time jobs. They just appeared and seem to be a direct answer to prayer. I’ve prayed for opportunity to help pay for my son’s college and here they are.
One position is right up my alley helping a speaker/author friend. A blessing to support her for the summer. The other is something all together different. I will soon find out more tomorrow and even more next week.
So now what to do I about my dreams of speaking and writing?
I don’t know.
Here’s what I do know:
God still sees me.
He hasn’t forgot about me.
God’s plan will come to pass.
There is purpose in actively waiting and seeking.
I’m never alone. God is with me even now.
God understands my heart.
I can trust Him even when I don’t understand.
My disappointment and confusion are normal.
God’s dreams for my life may look different than mine.
This bend in the road is for a specific reason.
God knows better than I do which way to go.
His timing is divine.
So at the end of the day I have to say yes to this new.
And with a tear in my dreamer’s eye, I say, “Okay, Lord, I surrender all.”
Tiffany… You just did here what I couldn’t articulate for myself… God is so awesome. HE is showing me this to tell me that this is what he’s been trying to tell me for months. Thank YOU Father God, Yahweh! In the name of The Messiah, Yeshua… AMEN!
Hey friend,
I have nothing scheduled either…only a potential, tentative date in the fall. I’m feeling ok about that but I can’t promise how I’ll feel about it next month!
See you soon.
Tiffany – are we kindred spirits or not? I certainly could have written this. I have dreams, I have desires, yet I hold back…perhaps afraid to step out of the boat. I feel some changes are coming for me, but I don’t know when. I just need to surrender my desires to God’s desire for me.
Blessings,
Joan
I can relate to this so much. My “transition” has been ongoing for years. Feeling “stuck in the middle” for years is no fun. But, you are right. God knows. Bless you, and I hope to see you at SS!
Hello,
I have visited your blog and enjoyed it very much. It has a great inspiration.
Would you like to visit my weblog which I created about 8 months ago?
My wife and I are Iranian and live in the UK. We love Jesus and our weblog is mostly about our Lord. Since we are Iranian we have added some Persian topics to the weblog, but you can read and watch English ones.
Our weblog is http://creation-to-eternity.blogspot.com
God Bless,
Shapour.
Tiffany,
How you are implementing your call from our Lord is changing. It’s being enhanced and retooled. But your call is still there, percolating stronger than ever. You are a lens who helps all of us see what is most important (and pursue it/Him!)
I’m excited to see the new, stronger, clearer, wider ways you will implement your call during and after this stage….Love, Gloria
Tiffany, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been at a crossroads of sorts myself lately and trying to take steps toward my ultimate purpose and destiny. I heard a definition of calling once that I’ll never forget: it’s that thing that just keeps calling no matter where you are or what you’re doing. You’re so right. Your feelings are normal, but we can trust in Him. Be blessed.
Tiffany, I can relate to being stuck in the middle but there is comfort in knowing that even when I’m lost, God knows exactly where I am.