Sizing Myself Up

I warn my friends not to fall for the comparison trap. And yet I often do the very thing I tell others not to do.

I compare.

At the gym today, I made a comment to my workout partner saying, “I wish I had her energy.” Our friend teaches yoga and spin classes. She’s lean and bubbly. I caught myself and said, “I shouldn’t compare, I know.” But that didn’t stop me. Lately I find working out to be a dread. I don’t like it and nor do I have the energy. I wonder what happened to the girl inside me that loved to exercise. I feel guilty I don’t enjoy taking care of my body. After all, it’s the only one I have. I can easily neglect it. How come some women are energetic and willing to do the hard work and I’m not? Am I lazy?

At writer’s group this week I said, “I don’t have a platform like _______. She’s a marketing person. I’m not.” My friends gently corrected me and reminded me how far I’ve come over the last few years. Okay, I am moving forward just not as fast as some. I hate it when I get stuck because I look at someone else’s success. It sends a message to me that I’m a failure or a slow poke.

Visiting with two other friends this week, I heard them comparing themselves with me. Both said, “I’m not where you are at.” I instantly felt like they were putting me on a pedestal. I felt bad. I don’t want others to feel guilty for where they are in their healing process. God has each of us on our own journey. On His timetable.

Lord, please free me from my desire to compare. Help me remember to spur others on towards love and good deeds. May I never stand in the way of your healing hand or comforting touch. Help me love others no matter if they seem ahead or behind me. Life is not a race to pass up my friends, but rather it’s a nature walk amongst them.

Move as you wish, Lord. Show me more of who you are. I make myself available. Come in and eat with me. Walk with me. Hold my hand. May I learn to believe you more and more each day!