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More Shame Uncovered and Laid to Rest

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Have you ever had a moment when someone says something that breaks and heals your heart all at the same time?

This past weekend I attended my first writer’s conference in four years. I still cannot believe it’s been four years since I put my writing career on hold. Wow, time moves even when I stand still.

While I was there I saw a dear friend of mine in the main auditorium. We used to be in a weekly critique group. I miss her in my life. She really knows me. She sees me and has permission to speak into my life. I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about with our writing, all I remember is her words,“Tiffany, you did the right thing. You invested in your children.”

How did she know I still felt such shame and regret about stepping away?

Comforting words like this shouldn’t be coming from a precious mom who is still grieving the death of her son. Such grace. Love beyond words. I cried. I wanted to give her back what she doesn’t have. More time with her son.

In that tender moment, I felt my feelings of failure release. God’s love came near. And I laid my shame to rest.

I cannot get back time with my growing kids. Four years full of moments. Taking pics. Laughing. Eating popcorn and too much candy. Watching movies. Helping my kids study. Carpool craziness. Dirty laundry piles. Sticky counters. All of it messy and often unplanned, but so worth it. In a couple short months my son moves off to college. Oh my heart.My daughter just finished her freshman year of high school.

Here’s some truth that is healing me:

The past four years were not wasted. They were well spent.

I will never regret doing the right thing.

(Thank you, Scoti. I love you. Praying for you too.)

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens

Ecclesiastes 3:1

What season are you in? What is the right thing for you? Stop, yield or go?

Comments

  1. I love this one, Tiffany. I’ve taken time off for our marriage, which in turn has helped our grown-and-gone children. You’re right, it’s not wasted. And hopefully, when I’m back, it will strengthen my writing. Always such encouragement here! Thanks.

    I shared the video. Perfect for this holiday weekend.  

    •  Kim, you are such an encouragement to me. It’s funny how doing the wrong thing can feel so wrong. I wish choices were easier. 🙂 I’m glad you chose first things first. And I look forward to everything you write. Thank you.

  2. When my father died I stood still for a year. I remember the day my zombie like trance broke. I was writing the date on a chart when it dawned on my that in a few days it would be the one year anniversary of when my dad died. I excused myself and went and prayed as I cried. I was when my healing began.
    Now, I am going…full steam ahead!

  3. Such a beautiful post. And so true, that time giving to, and spent with, our children is never time wasted. They remember it always, and so will we.