I arrived at the jail this morning to spend an hour with a sixteen year old I mentor, but within ten minutes I was driving home. This was the second Saturday in a row I was sent away. This time my mentee said she was getting released early, leaving next week. She thanked me for the time I gave her and said I helped her a lot. However, she said she didn’t have time to see me anymore.
For an hour on a Saturday?
So I left. And I was so disappointed. I felt rejected. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I thought I had a couple more Saturdays to invest into her. I may never see or hear from her again. She has a hard road ahead of her. I want to protect her from all that she will be tempted with, but I can’t. I can only pray.
As I drove away, I wanted to call someone, but God prompted me not to. So I talked with Him. I cried. And He spoke to me.
I sensed God say, “You don’t give to receive. You give because I gave first. And you love because I loved first.”
Point taken. I do give to receive. I receive satisfaction by listening and encouraging others. Giving my time to others gives me purpose. Yet, I don’t give without an expectation to receive a blessing. I look forward to the experience–the blessing.
Today I have a new prayer request, that someday I will give without any expectation because God gave and loved me– first.
I could go on to the next thing God spoke to me. But that’s another blog. However, I will say it was good. I’m thankful for my time driving to and from the jail because God and I met. So, no time was wasted.
