No, I am not writing a post about the novel by Jane Austin, Pride or Prejudice. Actually I’ve never read the book. I’m writing to confess my pride and prejudice. What I thought was humility is actually just pride, pure and simple. Who knew I had prejudice in heart? The dictionary describes prejudice as “an opinion formed beforehand, esp an unfavorable one based on inadequate facts.”
I have such pride and prejudice about not being seen as a ‘buy-my-book-schedule-me-to-speak-at-your-next-event-pushy-sales-and-marketing-person” that I avoid doing the hard work of sharing what I love to do. I even avoid writing because if I finished my book then I would have to try to sell it.
Sounds like a brilliant strategy for success, right?
Sounds more like a hamster wheel to me.
Today I saw my heart in a new light after reading Donald Miller’s bold post about self promotion and arrogance. Here’s the portion I relate to. Donald says,
“People who don’t promote their work may not be humble at all, in fact, they may be too proud to be seen as a salesman. I used to think I was humble, but then I realized I didn’t want to be one of those info-mercial guys and so my motivation was anything but humility. I was the opposite, I was proud. Too proud and too cool to sell anything.”
I also love how he explains that he can’t help others if he doesn’t share his work. I get that. As much as I long to see people living free from shame, I can’t be of any help if I hide my story. If I choose to not market. Or if I choose not write. Or speak out.
How can I ever help others discover the love of God if I sit in my house and procrastinate? How can I make a difference if I don’t write? How can I show the beauty of creation and our Creator if I hoard my favorite scenic photos?
Why is all of this false humility doing lurking around in my heart?
I’m nothing more than a pride-filled woman. I needed a good virtual spankin’. Thanks, Donald.
What happened to my love and devotion for God? My obedience? My sacrifice? Where did my all my compassion go? Where is my work ethic or my servant’s heart?
It’s often eaten alive by my pride.
So again today, I bow and make myself small in the face of a mighty big God.
Father God, thank You for showing me I have a big head. Still. I have pride. I have prejudice about seen as pushy sales person. I don’t want to be one of them. And yet I can only imagine the opportunities I have missed by trying to seem humble. Forgive me, Lord. I want to be a servant of love and a help. I want to be willing to share what You give me. Freely, without reserve. I want to use my gifts to help others see You more. Make me humble and pure at heart.I don’t want to get hung up on what others might think of me. I want to remember what YOU think of me as I step out and share my work. Help me showcase You more so that people that are still down can look up and find hope. I deny myself and look to You. Thank You for Your mercy and grace. Goodness, I’m a mess. In Jesus name, Amen.
God created the world out of nothing; so as long as we are nothing, he can make something out of us.
~ Martin Luther
It’s hard to overcome those ideas, Tiffany. Believe me, I know how hard it is. Not only do you have yourself to contend with but you have others who will invariably see you in that light as if “all they do is promote themselves.” The key in my view is knowing why you’re doing it. I’m getting the word out about what I write or do because its the vehicle by which He gave me to express Him. If I shut that down because I don’t want to be seen a certain way, I’m denying what He’s placed inside me and I would much rather go down giving my best to honor Jesus than hiding in a corner. Great post, Tiffany. Thanks.
Hi Jason, It’s been a while since I’ve been in touch with you. I’m glad to see you are still out there sharing your words and faith.
I love what you share about denying what HE placed inside of us. I don’t want to die with books inside me. But wow, I am really having to see how big my pride is! It’s a sneaky thing that false humility.
I want God to be bigger in my life than my mirror. 🙂
It has been a while! Glad I had a few extra minutes and saw your post. Of course, I don’t think it was accident at all. 🙂
Wow, really good points. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Thank you.
Also, Pride and Prejudice is worth reading at least once.
I wonder if I could make it through such a big book like Pride and Prejudice since I rarely read novels. I am a non-fiction reader. 🙂 But I have heard great things about that book. Someday..
I understand. I used to read tons of fiction but as I have gotten older I find I spend more time in devotionals, history, other non-fictions that educate my mind instead of primarily entertain.
It’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, between ambition and greed, the list goes on. Seeking God, and looking for His truth, searching our hearts, is the way to find His will. Thanks for the ever needed reminder. Thanks to Jason for sending me this way. God bless your work and mission.
Hi Floyd, I’m glad to hear Jason sent you here and that you enjoyed the reminder. I love that you mentioned the fine line. I so see how the line can be easily crossed. We must each follow God’s leading with our steps. Peace to you.
Ouch! I know where you are coming from, Tiffany. I also realized something last night. That pride thing is often so sneaky. I’ll pray for you, sweet friend. Pray for me too!
Love and blessings,Lisa
Did you write about what happened last night on your blog? I’d love to read it if you did. I feel like the pride can is opened for me now and I see more areas I must deal with. Oh, the joy. And yes, prayers your way.
What a refreshing post and a great reminder that our voice is valuable because the Master gave it to us. Thanks so much for sharing your heart!
Love this, Tiffany!
Thanks for sharing your heart and speaking to mine!
I can sure relate. I find all sorts of excuses to not do what I’ve been called to do. What’s that about? I ask this question all the time. The answer is, “Just do it.” Even analyzing it is a way to distract myself. : ) Thanks for a insightful post and a push in the right direction.