Not Allowed To Cry?

On Saturday, I spoke to a group of single moms about beauty in brokenness. Afterwards, I got mad when I learned one mom was taught as a child not to cry. This precious heart wiped her tears away as fast as she could and said “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Tears are a good thing. Tears heal us.”

Earlier this year during a Bible study, I met a young gal who was also taught crying wasn’t allowed. Her parents told her her tears were just her trying to get their attention. Yes, I realize some kids use whining or crying to get their way, but my friend was never allowed to cry, so she learned to stuff her emotions. During our study, she cried and cried. We embraced her (and her tears) and she felt better afterwards. There was a noticeable difference in her spirit. A sweet smile emerged.

I’ve heard some say, “I’m afraid if I start crying, I’ll never stop.” I get that fear, but the truth is you will stop and you will eventually feel better.

I’ve also heard crying is a sign of weakness. But what if your tears were weakness leaving your body? Would you cry then? Or do you want that weakness to stay with you?

Since when are tears NOT allowed?

That teaching is beyond my understanding. Kids cry. Adults do too. Both are okay and necessary to healthy living. I believe in the healing power of tears, releasing those painful emotions in order to be free, so that joy can return.

I believe God gave us tears as a gift to help us cope with life. Rejection. Betrayal. Loss. Abuse. Disappointment. Disease. Death. The list of what breaks our heart is endless. To keep our hearts tender, we must allow ourselves to be broken. To deal with loss of any kind, we must grieve.

Stuffing emotions never healed anyone.

Tears do.

I’m writing today to tell someone it’s okay to cry.

Need permission? See truth below.

My intercessor is my friend
 as my eyes pour out tears to God – Job 16:20

a time to weep and a time to laugh – Ecclesiastes 3:4

Jesus wept. John 11:35

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5

(about tears in heaven-read below)

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4

PS I’ve spent hours, days and probably months letting my tears flow. In private prayer. With a family member or a friend. In a counselor’s office. As I write in my journal. Crying has helped heal some of my deepest wounds.

Again, it’s okay to cry.

QUESTION: What do you believe about crying? (please post your comments)