You would think after seven years of blogging I would know what I’m doing.
Nope, not so much.
Strange online bugs bite me and leave their mark. I fly into invisible webs and get stuck. Fighting for freedom, I exhaust myself. I lose my creative self just trying to regain my flight.
Can you relate?
Seven years ago, I started blogging as a way to practice writing in public. Back then it was the next “writer thing” to do, so I did. And for years I enjoyed meeting cyber friends and sharing my heart online. I wrote raw and told my story of redemption. I felt alive and inspired.
And as the years continued, I learned more and more about the rules of online writing. I’ve even taught writing workshops for bloggers. Love that. As a lover of learning, I ate it all up. I watched YouTube tutorials. I read blogs on blogging. Then words like platform, Google Analytics, and tribe entered my thinking. Hmm, what to do with that, I didn’t know. It sounded complicated and confusing.
Then as recommended, I transferred my blog from Blogger to WordPress because it was the right thing to do. I added widgets to my blog and taught myself how to make a header. Think shortcut, not graphic design. I also created a navigation bar with helpful tabs and added a speaker page.
I did almost everything I was told to do.
I was a good blogging girl.
But something interesting happened along the way.
* My online friends stopped commenting. Why?
* I stopped visiting other blogs because it took tons of time and energy. I miss reading their voices.
* Comparison kicked in and I discovered I was the slow one. Others passed me by, found their niche and their tribe. Many became authors. I am truly happy for them and yet their success made me doubt mine.
* Discouragement held me down until I cried, “Uncle.”
* Loneliness struck. I felt invisible. Why bother writing? No one is reading your stuff.
* Insecurity entered the scene. I must not be a good writer after all.
* And finally I lost heart.
So here I am at ground zero seven years later. A place I never expected to be. Looking at all of this rubble, searching for lessons I’ve learned along the way. Here’s what I see:
Lesson #1 – There’s more to blogging than knowing the rules.
Sure I can learn the rules of blogging and there is value in that. But there’s more. And I need the more the most. For me, my more is passion. I can’t write just to keep a blogging schedule or to build a tribe or brand, I must write from my heart or forget it. And as a creative spirit, I need freedom to break the rules once I’ve learned them.
Lesson #2 – Looking at myself is NEVER the answer.
When will I ever learn that looking at myself will never lead to progress. I am my own worst critic. If I’m ever going to write for the love of it again, I must stop looking at my lack. Mirrors must go. I must focus on what I love. Fixing my eyes on those things will bring out the best words in me. And maybe those words will resonate with you.
Lesson #3 – Looking at others leads to loss. Every. Single. Time.
This is the worst of sticky webs: looking at others. Comparison either leads to my demise or to my pride, depending on who I compare with. Neither option leads to my freedom. I can’t get stuck here. I can’t measure the weight of my words by how much you weigh in. I must look and listen to my Creator for my value. He alone is the final answer to my all my questions as an artist. He says I am enough. He promises to be my strength as I move forward, vulnerable and weak. My best option: lean into God and gaze at His beauty and then share.
Lesson #4 – Believing in what I love again.
Regardless of the response I get or don’t get online, I need to write anyway. I am a writer because I love words. Communication matters to me. It’s part of who I am. Some people collect dolls, thimbles, or shot glasses. Not me, I collect words. Words bring me life. Come to my house and see shelves of books, plastic bins of my journals, framed art with words and verses, and scribbled-on chalkboards. I must get back to what I love: Leaving a written trail for others, especially my kids. I want them to see what faith looks like. The joy and sorrow. The good and ugly. I want them to live a life of childlike wonder, freedom, dignity and great joy as they follow their Maker.
Why do I write?
I write for God’s smile. Why isn’t that enough?
Thank goodness God isn’t finished with me yet. And might I add, God isn’t not finished with YOU yet either. So let’s get back to the basics: Eyes on Him. Hands to the plow. Hearts surrendered and knees bowed.
Please stay tuned as I rebuild my life/blog from the ground up. (Feel free to sign up for my newsletter or emailed updates on upper right)
Q4U: What lessons are you learning right now? It doesn’t have to be a blogging or writing lesson. What are you learning in life period?
Pilar Arsenec says
Thank you so much for writing this post. I totally resonated with it and relate to what you wrote.
Tiffany Stuart says
Pilar, I’m glad I’m not alone in my struggles. I hope you keep writing your heart.
Beth Harris says
Thank you for these great words, Tiffany. Your blog impacts me. Inspires me to be open and exposed. But of most importance is to glorify God. This post encourages me, as I just launched my blog last week. And guest post I promised is coming :).
Tiffany Stuart says
I hope you do submit a guest post, Beth. And thanks for your words of encouragement. I am an open book, sometimes too much so.
Resqued1 says
Are you inside of my head speaking on my behalf???? I so identify with this!
Tiffany Stuart says
I think writers are more alike than we realize. Since writing is such a solitary act we often feel alone in our thinking, when really what we experience is common. Agree?
Katherine Harms says
I think I see myself. What has truly caught my attention now, however, is that first, Jeff Goins encouraged me to write content that was so important I had to write it despite the risk of rejection. Then Michael Hyatt pointed out that content is everything. Not techie skills. Not the ‘right’ blog host. Content. I am only starting to understand what that means, but already I see that more people visit every day than they did before I started working on Content, Content Content. I don’t know where this all goes, but I do see that God is speaking Content to me, not window-dressing. I don’t have technical skill to share; I have a message about what it is like to live and grow in relationship with Christ.
I am certainly working on technical projects and better presentation and my tribe, but I am trying very hard to stay focused on God’s Content that he wants me to share with others. I don’t know if it will actually bless others, but it already blesses me.
Tiffany Stuart says
Katherine, I’m happy to read you are focusing on what matters most as a writer. Content, sharing your heart. I love knowing your passion is about Christ, living and growing in that relationship. That’s powerful and valuable. I look forward to reading what you write.
Shannon Milholland says
You are so right. Comparison is a sticky web that’s extremely difficult to break free from. Being liberal with my help for my writer friends is the single best thing I do to grow my platform. Giving is never a wrong decision.
Tiffany Stuart says
Giving to your writer friends, yes! Love that.
I credit a few dear writing friends for where I am today. Their love, support and encouragement spurred me on when I wondered if I could ever be a writer.
I have a quote on my wall that says, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” – Aesop
Dana Pittman says
Great post! It’s great to read as a new blogger. Thanks for your honesty. I am learning to be. It sounds weird I’m sure. However, with “being” I’ve noticed resources, answers, people, opportunities, etc are gravitating toward me. It is not easy. But I am experiencing God’s peace. And with that I’m satisfied.
Tiffany Stuart says
Dana, yes and more yes on learning to BE. I have a dear friend who I pray with weekly and her nickname is B-MORE. Being is such a place of refreshment and reward. Thank you for the reminder. I am a type B personality. Blood type B+
Dana Pittman says
:o)
Tammyhelfrich says
Great post. I have always tried to focus on the writing, but we always tend to go back to comparison at some point, don’t we? You are a great writer, and I look forward to more of your posts!
Tiffany Stuart says
Why is comparison such a trap? I almost linked up to those I compare myself with and then thought I better not be that revealing. Keep writing, Tammy. People need our words.
Christa Allan says
Oh, I am sooooo with you on this one. I feel like my creative energy bank is overdrawn, and there’s no stimulus in sight. Your back to the basics brought tears…thank you.
Tiffany Stuart says
Hi Christa, I’m glad to know my post brought you tears. That’s a great sign you will be getting back to the basics and that your creativity will be reignited. I wish you much inspiration.
mary snyder says
One of the BEST things I’ve read on blogging in years! You are so right girl — and I’m in the same place. I have to STOP this chasing fame and just get back to loving Jesus and His people. He will give me the desires of my heart!
Heidi Kreider says
This is beautiful Tiffany! Thanks for the reminder to all of us. So many times I’ve struggled in this journey. I’m bookmarking this for when the next struggle comes.
So glad to have been on the Platform Team with you,
Heidi
Kelli Girl says
Tiffany, I relate so well to what you’re saying! I’ve pulled away from blogging for many of the reasons you wrote about…and have also stopped visiting as well. I still haven’t figured out a good personal balance and God-honoring place with it all. I pray you find that place this time around. You have a beautiful heart to share!
Living in Christ says
Tiffany, you are an incredible writer! The light of Christ shines brightly in your words. Keep up the great work!
God Bless you,
Amy V.
Karen says
I love your honest and sharing heart…
Believe me, God is smiling right now…
Joan says
This is one of the most encouraging posts I have read in some time and it speaks to my heart. I have only been blogging three years, switched from blogger to wordpress last year, hoping to help build my “platform”. Of late, I am losing my desire to read and comment on other blogs. And, I’ve often had trouble finding words to say. Perhaps it is a season, perhaps it is because God is directing me to write other things… And as you said, looking to others and comparing ourselves is one of the worst things we can do. Thank you, Tiffany, for being straightforward and honest.