I’ve been praying for months for God to direct my path. I’ve been restless. Looking to volunteer, find a job, start a small group, join a spring Bible study. Anything. Just let me live a life bigger than myself. For God’s glory.
And God is starting out 2008 with answers I didn’t expect. I submitted a volunteer application to Life Network weeks ago with the idea that I would join their team of high school speakers teaching on abstinence or mentor pregnant women. Anyway this morning I met with one of the volunteer coordinators and we talked. The subject of my abortion came up. I knew it would, after all they are a ministry for sanctity of life. Anyway, I found out I cannot volunteer until I complete their Bible study course for post-abortion healing.
I believe this is why I couldn’t commit to a couple different invites for Bible study. I’ve been asked to join a few starting this month. God knows that for some reason, unknown to me at this time, I am to further my road to wholeness.
Even though I’ve written two online articles about my abortion and sense I’ve found healing, God must be saying, “Tiffany, there’s more.”
I’m excited to dive deep into God’s Word with other women who’ve been there and embrace God’s love even more. And in ways, I am terrified. I already know I will have to name my unborn child. I know that the last session is a memorial service to honor the babies in heaven. That overwhelms me. Can I survive that kind of emotion and still live?
Please pray as I wander into unknown lands. I’m hoping for land full of milk and honey, but I may have to walk through valleys first. I’m believing God to work this out for good. I will not let fear or shame stop me. God holds my hand; he goes before me. He is guide. My strong tower.
Healing always seems to take longer than expected, doesn’t it? I’ll be praying for you through this next part of your healing journey.
I’d like to read your online articles you mentioned in this post, if you don’t mind posting or sending me the links.
I believe this will be very powerful and oh so meaningful for you. I’m in your choir as you will begin to sing your praises after the completion…..charge on! Dad
Dear Tiffany,
How touching… Your willingness to be broken again in order to be a blessing in another young lady’s life truly takes an obedient heart.
As I was reading your post I was thinking of Paul when he said this is Phil 2:17:
“But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.”
Thanks for being willing to be poured out for those girls.
God is up to something really great, I’ll be praying for you.
Tiffany, I felt the same way – the SAME way – before I attended a Rachel’s Vineyard post-abortion healing retreat. I was so afraid of my emotional dam breaking in an uncontrollable way. I went, trepidation and all, and it was one of the most beautiful and healing experiences of my life. The people there are so aware of God’s mercy, and everyone is in the same boat. If you want support, please email me at ebelle@mchsi.com.
God bless you!