One of my biggest pet peeves about Christians is that they sometimes come off as judgmental. Maybe writing this makes me judgmental too. I’ve often think about going into a church service looking and smelling like a street person or wearing fake tattoos and piercings. Or maybe a fat suit. I just want to know what it feels like to be in their shoes. And I want to know how they are treated. Are they accepted? Are they completely ignored? Are they given the you-disgust-me look? Do they feel the love of God?
It hits a nerve in me whenever I overhear a believer making comments about someone’s appearance. Especially without knowing the person. I want to call them on their attitude. But I don’t because I struggle with being judgmental at times myself.
I’ve also felt the judgment firsthand when I first started highlighting my son’s hair in 7th grade. Even though no believer directly said anything to me, I knew there was some talk. I felt like the rebel mom. Yet I have to pick and choose my battles and hair color is not one I choose to fight unless maybe it’s purple. To me, it’s only hair. Not heart.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the love of God. God loves all people–no matter what they look like. He looks at the heart not the name brand of their shoe. He doesn’t reject the person who is covered head to toe in tattoos. I believe God created us with the look we have so we can reach a certain group of people. Those who wear all black can reach a different group of people than maybe I could.
God wants ALL to come to the saving knowledge of Him. No one is forbidden. All are welcome. The worst of them especially. That’s when God can show Himself most powerful, when we can see the change of heart. Hearts that were once stone melt like wax. I long to be a part of God’s work of the heart. Don’t you?
Lord, help me see others through your eyes, not through eyes of judgment. Help me see the heart. A hard heart is usually just a wounded one.
Sometimes when I find myself looking at someone–and judging their appearance–I remind myself, “They are made in the image of God.”
We’re all made in the image of God. That’s the truth. Maybe we put blonde highlights on it or tattoos or lots of ear pierces or who knows what! Or maybe we’ve been scarred by an accident. Underneath it all, we’re made in the image of God.
Thanks for your honesty.
Tiffany, so well said. Thank you for the loving exhortation.
My Grandmother once told me while we were dressing up for church that we were going before our “KING” and needed to put on our best. That meant bath, dresses, combed hair, clean clothes.
The subject came up because years ago, levies for men or women weren’t really accepted, those were work clothes. When she told me that, I understood about our finest before our creator. It was a sign of respect, not only for Him but of ourselves.
While I agree with you all, we shouldn’t judge one another by what is worn to church services, if a person who is a mature Christian, dresses or acts poorly, it reflects on his or her witness.
An example: There was a young lady serving at the coffee counter who because of the latest fashion exposed way too much of her backside clear down to past the crack. How do you think that looked to the boys and men in church? How did that help other parents trying to raise young ladies to be pure in thought and action? While I understand attitudes about tattoos and fashions, it makes a statement about what the person thinks about himself. A lot of the tattoos tell something in hidden messages. The Natiz and Klu Klux Klan are good examples and the kids don’t even know it. I don’t judge the person but I do question the motive and take the situation to the Lord. So many people in the Church don’t understand the message behind, “let’s do our thing and don’t anyone dare question or judge US”. The Bible is clear about defacing our bodies. We are made in the image of God, not the world and there are times to put our foot down.
Do I think hair dye is bad, no unless it is done to make a statement in rebellion. I do understand though that people who are looking for God need to be able to come to a loving and accepting place so that they can grow and mature. Overlooking though does not help that person. One bad apple can spoil the whole bunch. So, let’s pray that these people are lovingly corrected if the behavior continues. We didn’t have such a problem when the pulpit would share that this behavior can be a stumbling block to some.
Sorry for the preachy subject. I just have grandchildren here now and I see the influence in the church as children are allowed to be “free” to express themselves. My kids are constantly disagreeing with their parents and us about what they see is acceptable in the church right now. Maybe, but it is unbecoming and not of the Lord.
Hope ya all still love me after this!The Bible warned us of this in the end times, that people will do what they want and go their own way. That is rebellion to a creator who loves us so much that He allows us the freedom to do what we want.
Doesn’t mean that it is the right thing.
Please don’t misunderstand me on my comments, I don’t believe that we should judge the world either, but we are told to be discerning in the body of Christ and challenge each other to become mature in Jesus.
I pray that anyone reading this would receive it in LOVE. There are two judgments, one is world (which we don’t do according to the Lord),the other is the Body of Christ, remember the man who was cast out because he needed to change his behavior? We are told to line up with the Word or be left out for awhile until we can learn.
Paulette
“A hard heart is usually just a wounded one.” That is a very profound and true statement. This was a great post. Sometimes I think we forget that Jesus hung out with the people that the religious crowd avoided.
Looks like I stirred the pot for which I am grateful. I will probably continue this topic on my next post. I look forward to going deeper into the subject of judgement… Thanks for all who took the time to comment. It means so much.
Thought provoking post, no doubt! Thanks!
Tiffany
Love your post and it’s something I think about all the time. We all judge people first by their outward appearance, it’s our human nature and always has been, which is why we see verses in the Bible like “man looks at the outward appearance.” It’s hard work to constantly force ourselves to look beyond the exterior and try to get to know people’s hearts. I believe this is a different issue than the one Paulette raised about how people’s exterior affects their witness. Yes, as a Christian I need to be aware that my appearance can affect my witness and testimony, but it’s even more important for me to be aware of how I’m judging others, and to model a loving Christ-like acceptance of others regardless of their appearance.
I laughed at your idea of going into church with piercings and fake tattoos — yes, it would be informative to know how it feels to be judged like that — but I’m actually going to get a real tattoo (my husband and I are doing it together) so I expect to feel firsthand the judgment of those who disagree with my choice. (BTW, it will be small & beautiful and I do not consider it “defacing” my body.) I actually think doing things like this can HELP our witness rather than damage it. It depends on who you are trying to reach, right? If I’m seen by the younger crowd as approachable, “normal,” accepting, and cool, I think I’ll be able to reach them with the message of Christ much better. If people see my heart and know that I am reflecting Christ, they can see my tattoo as a symbol of our freedom in Christ.
In other words, KNOWING that people will judge me, I am choosing to get the tattoo NOT out of rebellion, but as a positive symbol, both of my commitment to my husband and my commitment to Christ and the freedom He gives us.
Great topic, would love to hear more!
what a wonderful post! Glad I stopped by
im reading this because i have been warned through the preacher, that i am a distraction because of myfaith in how i would handle people jugdige to my hair color. i lead youth and stay in Gods Word. the decision of coloring my hair was carefully thought out.my husband liked it, and the culture im trying to reach, and the way i am (i am artsy, introvert). i knew how people would handle it but felt it was a challenge to my faith in how i would handle people judging me.since, my faith has been challeged and people have come to the preacher complaining saying kids want to know if they can dye their hair, God forbid!i just think theirs a lot more important things to worry about and i have actually had my youth group grow since! and its not to do with my hair. its amazing with these kids and how theyll open up to you when you dont look like a “church person”. it kills me because the ones that complain are the ones that like to complain. and the complaining has nothing to do with important spiritual things of the heart, its petty unimportant things that might make them look bad.