Once again I’m approaching another new season in life. Back to school time brings me back to thinking about how to plan my days. My two kids started 5th and 9th grade last week and now I am home alone. In some ways, it’s exciting and in others, it’s filled with “I-wish-I-would’ves.” I cannot change the past so I try not to dwell on what I didn’t do. However I do think about how my plans for our summer ended up different than I expected.
Sometimes I wish I could work full time again as it would give me more purpose–and a steady income. I get frustrated knowing that’s about impossible with my kid’s schedules. (I am their transportation at two different schools.) I brainstorm possible writing and speaking opportunities. I consider joining another Bible study or starting something myself. I get overwhelmed thinking about organizing my photos and scrapbooking again. Yet I love being creative. I think about getting more active in serving others. I have a heart for the hurting–emotionally or physically. I write my name on the volunteer forms for Hannah’s class. I email or call friends and plan my one-on-ones to catch up again. And I get back to a regular workout schedule at the Y. I also get back to a regular routine with God: praying and reading the Word.
With all these thoughts and choices, I realize I need God more than ever. Without His leading, I am lost. I wander aimlessly as I try to navigate through the thickets of life. I’m easily tempted to fill my plate with good things and yet miss my real purpose: To know God intimately.
So for now, even with all the options before me, I rest. I wait on God to speak and lead me. It’s hard. I’m anxious for direction. I want to jump and be a part of something greater than myself. Yet I know the best choice is to wait and spend time with God. Just Him and me. And out of that time, I pray God fills me with a love and passion for others that I cannot contain.
I don’t want to live life saying, “My cup is full, but I am drained.” I want to say, “He has filled my cup and so I give to others gladly.”
How about you? What are you doing in this season? Are you going through a life change? Is it winter for you? Spring,summer or fall?
(**update from a previous post: the girl in jail is doing okay. She needs more prayer though. She wants to know how to know God better. Please pray God shows Himself to her personally. Thank you.)
Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” I think that its important that we do the little things in life as that can brighten someone else’s life and make a huge difference in this dark world. God bless you.
I so often feel this way too…lost. Not sure what I am doing with my life. Thanks for the reminder of what is important. Seeking FIRST God, and then ALL THESE THINGS will be added unto me as well…
I ran across your blog and I really have got to say you are an amazing mom, wife, and child of God. You truly are the Proverbs 31 woman I want to be. I have a husband and baby boy. Please feel free to take a peek at our blog anytime. My name is Sharon, and it is great to have run into someone like you.
The Wilde Family
http://www.wildedreamscometrue.blogspot.com/
Having lost my job and have been home almost a year being concidered disabilied have lost my way. Have lost my purpose in life with an income that barely pays my monthly expenses. I also pray for direction and purpose
Thank you all for your comments and encouragement.
Mom, I am praying for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Hold on to the Lord. He will not leave you.
Sharon, I’m glad you stopped by. Can’t believe you see me as a Proverbs 31 woman. I’m in shock.
Shirley, I always enjoy your blog posts. I feel like I know you.