Imagine you are looking at life through this glass? Wouldn’t it be beyond annoying?
Well, it is. I know. All I see lately is this broken place in our society. I can’t seem to focus on anything but this one wound. So I’m in the middle of processing what to do. I believe God is calling me to step up and speak out for those who can’t or won’t. And so I will. Soon.
I want clear vision again and I have a strong feeling that the only way I will get that is to share the brokenness I see. But in order for me to share, I need courage to tell you more about me. My childhood scars, my past worldly choices and the reason I cannot stand what’s happening. It’s all so personal to me. I cry thinking about the next generation. I know from experience it’ll lead to death and self destruction and self hatred. It may sound and feel good, but it will never satisfy the longing of our heart.
The only answer I know is to pray, pray and pray right now. To believe God no matter discouraging things appear. To trust He sees and answers our cries for help. To beg for courage to rise up and be a voice OR a hand of help and lead others to true hope and healing: Jesus.
Self protection is a disease in my life. Some may say I’m too open with my past like my abortion, but the truth is there’s more I haven’t shared. There’s more shame. Good thing I’m writing my book on freedom from shame because for five years I’ve blogged, I’ve barely said a word. Why?
Maybe I am still ashamed.
Maybe so.
Lord, help me come out of hiding and share what I know to be true. I’ve already seen You use the worst in my life to help others find freedom. What an amazing gift to know You choose to use me. What GRACE! I want Your love to be so free flowing in me that I care more about others and their freedom than I do about protecting my face. I want to become a living sacrifice for Your glory. Only by Your grace will anything I say or do be effective. If it’s You, LORD, continue to call me up and out. My flesh is weak, but my spirit willing. In Jesus name, Amen.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:1-2(The Message).
(pic taken at zoo, glass from outdoor gorilla cage)
Tiffany, I can so relate to the shame issue. Not for the reason you mentioned, but a myriad of others in my own life. I don't share them I guess for the same reason most of us don't…we think others will like us less. Isn't it ironic, that the one who loves us the most, knows the most about us.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt blog!
Lifting up my comings and goings and doings to God today as an offering.
Thanks for this beautiful message.
~ Wendy
Amen. Thank you for sharing and I pray grace to share even more so that freedom is birthed in hearts and lives.
For weeks, I've meditated on James 4:5-6: the Spirit He caused to live within us envies intensely, but He gives more grace!
More grace to you in Jesus' name!
AMEN..I am praying with you, sweet friend…I am tired of looking through broken glass in our society.
Hugs,
andrea
Right there with you, Tiffany. Know the shame, have felt the pain and now know that only God can heal us. We have a story to tell, my friend. Who knows perhaps one or a hundred may be waiting to hear the good news of how God healed the brokeness!
With a love for God's daughters,
Linda J
Tiffany,
I love this post. I've been doing very much thinking along these very same lines Saving our Next Generation! It seems like we are on the cusp of Jesus' return with so many in the body of God growing cold to the things around us that should cause us to rise up and stand up for what we believe. I will be praying for you.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
anyone that vulnerable about her
brokenness will be mightily used
by the Lord.
i look forward to many visits here.
Tiffany,
You can never fall so far that you are beyond the reach of God. I know, believe me! The "trick" is allowing Him to pick you up. Once you do, you are new, pure, white as snow. Your past shame is gone with the cleansing blood of His love.
It seems that God has put some important issues on your heart. Our testimonies can be the one thing that makes another stop and run to our Father. God will use your past pain for the good. He will show you when.
I lay it all at HIS feet. Awesome post. Praying with you.
Hugs,
mimi
I love you sis, keep you covered daily in prayer. God knows all of you, and greatly loves you.
Beautiful post…joining you in prayer for all the brokenness…inside and out….
There comes great freedom with the truth… the Truth. Lean into Him, and He will be faithful to guide your thoughts and heart on the matter of your past. We live in a suffering world, and I applaud you for being willing to work through the hard stuff of your past in order to be a help for the future.
peace, friend`elaine
This is **powerful** Tiffany…. Praise God!
Oh Tiffany, I understand. I've been very open with most of my past, but there are some things I haven't shared openly and a few I hope I never have to air in public. Eeek!
But I do know that God in His awesomeness heals the broken areas and then uses them to help others.
I read the coolest quotes this morning…
"Since Satan's primary weapon is the lie, your defense against him is the truth. Dealing with Satan is not a power encounter; it's a truth encounter. When you expose Satan's lie with God's truth, his power is broken– Neil Anderson
"…step out in childlike faith, knowing that every step deposits faith into your spiritual account and strengthens your trust in God" Mary Southerland (I have the link to this awesome devotional on faith on my Facebook site)
Satan wants you to cower in fear–don't believe his lies. Interesting isn't it, that he is the one who makes the messes then turns around and points his finger and says we are to blame.
Tiffany, keep shining God's light and walk in faith. God will do abundantly more than we can ask or imagine!
Hugs and bunches of blessings,
Lisa
Wow. It's hard to put into words, what I feel after reading that. Amazed, impressed, excited, convicted. Keep open. Keep encouraging your readers to be deeper with God, more involved, and not just hidden in our Christian cocoon. Very moving, Tiffany!
the sirit never occupies me with his work in me .the word is “he shall glorify ME“(john 16;13-15)to go further,the blessed and wonderful work of christ can never be the object of my heart.it gives my conscience peace,sweet peace,but only HIS PERSON can and does satisfy my heart.THE FATHER directs our attention to him(matt 17;5)THE HOLY GHOST would occupy us with him(acts 7;55,56)THE WORD OF GOD)testifies of him(john 5;39)
Thank you for being willing to follow where God is leading you.
I like to think I'm pretty open about everything but like most others here, we all hide some things from our life. And that isn't always for the best.
Thank you for sharing and I pray grace to share even more so that freedom is birthed in hearts and lives.
data entry work from home
Coming over from Jason's site today…
I think we all hide our deepest sins from others, and partially from our own selves, too. I'm pretty open about a lot of my flaws on my blog, but there are some sins I will not write about.
I actually think that's okay. Sometimes it feels right to keep things between myself and God, without broadcasting it all to the world. It's a balance, I think…I often have to try to decide whether writing about my flaws will help someone…or whether it might do more harm than good.
I admire your honesty here, and the fact that you are listening so closely to God to discern what he wants from you.
You are such a talented photographer! Wow.
I will be praying that the Lord will give you His courage and grace. He will give you the words and the proper time. So much healing will pour forth for you and others as you open up even more.
May God pour blessings and favor on you and your ministry.