I enjoy my porch. It’s comfortable, cute and sometimes even clean. But sitting on my porch doesn’t help anyone. The banner over my porch sings. . . Indecision.
And Indecision is a slow death. Clever in making me feel comfortably numb, but all the while snuffing out my life’s breath. Indecision feels easier than decision because decision is active and risky. Passivity is my safe friend. Decision means I’ve gotta get up and move and over the years of sitting on my porch, I’ve gotten lazy and used to the view.
Here’s the rub though, I’m also tired of my limited view. And I’m tired of keeping my seat cushion warm. Plus I can’t see much, I only see in part. Because it’s a small space, I don’t connect with others there. It’s inviting for me, sure, but there’s only room for one. So I sit and look and wonder what those who aren’t on sitting on their porches are doing.
As I wonder, deep longing kicks in. I ache for something more, something adventurous, something worthwhile. I dream of a life that is full of change and stunning panoramic views.
Could a life of Decision be worth it? Am I able to handle the pressure of action and change? Who will stand beside me? Will I fall short? What if I grow weary and tired, can I keep going? What about rest, will there be any? Will I learn to love Decision? What would God do with my life if I followed Him no matter what?
In a moment of desperate surrender, I stand up from my comfy cushioned chair and bow to pray, “Father God, my life is Yours. Indecision has held me for too long. I’m tired of sitting and watching the world buzz by. I’m ready to wander the earth with You and share what You’ve done in my life. It’s time. I’m sick of comfy. I’m ready to rewrite the banner over life’s porch. Let my life sing a new song, let it shout Your name, Jesus. I love You. Amen.”
As I get up and wipe my tears away, I look at my porch and smile. Yes, I smile because God found me even there. God came to my porch of Indecision. He loves me that much. He’ll follow me wherever I go. There’s no place He will not come and invite me to join Him. Life is meant to be lived. Porches aren’t all that.
Kicking over my comfy chair and ripping off my Indecision banner feels good. Ready for a faith-filled adventure with my camera and journal in hand, I walk away, holding God’s hand.
What a relief. Finally a decision!
(pic amusement park, Florida, fall 2009)
Tiffany, have you ever heard the saying “the preacher is reading my mail”? Well, that’s how I feel about your post today. Funny thing is that on my porch is exactly where God took my hand and lifted me out of the pit. That very still windless day I looked up to the sky and told God “if you are real, please help me I can’t live this way any longer.” I watched in surprise as the big towering Texas pine trees quickly sway as if they were bowing on that still windless day. That day God changed my life forever and has taken us to live in different places with different porches. Still sometimes I find myself sitting on a porch of indecision saying “Lord, I am not qualified to do what you ask of me this time.” So perhaps like you it is time for many of us women to take our cameras and journals venturing out to see what God would have us do!
Thank you for your obedience to our Lord!
Linda J
I love this sis.
You go girl! The love of God flows through you inspiring others also to move, wherever they are.
Tiffany,
I am so excited for you. I too, have been sitting on that same porch but some miles southwest of where you are, wondering that very thing. I feel there is something wonderful and large coming and I hope it provides you with the answers you need.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
What a great post Tiffany! So appropriate for me at this time!!!
Love this, Tiffany. You go, girl! God has your back, your front, and your sides. Can't wait to see what waits as you follow Him off the porch.
Blessings and hugs,
Lisa
Your words always bless me. I was ready to settle back onto my porch, thank-you for the reminder that God is waiting for me in the yard.
Great call to move forward…stepping off the porch with you….