It’s no coincidence that I’m under the weather today. Think about it. I just posted about suffering and then on bugs. Guess what? I’m suffering and have a bug. LOL. I have a UTI(urinary tract infection). I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable. Pain.
Let me be real honest. I can panic over my health whether it’s big or small. I bury myself alive, losing all logic. It’s not funny and I hate it. My kids have seen me wacky, that’s not fun either. I want to be strong. But I still have things to learn.
God has taught me a lot as I’ve asked for freedom from this paralyzing fear. I notice turn my eyes back off of me sooner and back on to God. I used to be consumed with anxiety, haunting anxiety. But now things are much better. Most days I am consumed with thoughts of God. I feel peaceful and joyful. But the truth is my faith is put to the test when I feel sick. Even a little sick.
Will I trust Him no matter what?
I think my fear stems from when I was almost 18. I just graduated high school and looked forward to my future. At that time, my youngest brother was 3 and 1/2 and he got sick. Doctors told my parents it was a virus. A sinus infection. Here’s some antibiotics. Nothing changed. Things got worst. Next thing you know he’s in the emergency room with one eye crossed and soon after, a horrible diagnosis: a rare form of cancer. My family and I watched as my brother fought during two intense years of suffering. Those images are engraved in my mind. They broke my heart and changed my life forever.
This gut wrenching experience has made me overly fearful about my health–and anyone else who’s aching for that matter. But as hard as it was to witness my brother’s pain, I realize I learned some incredible lessons like, to really value life. To see living each day as a gift. To appreciate little things. To be compassionate for people who are hurting. To not judge people by their physical appearance. For these lessons alone I thank God. (Today, my brother Ryan is still one of my heroes. He’s 26and a cancer survivor who’s been given a second chance to live.)
Which leads me back to my life and me feeling sick. Will I really live today? Or will I let this suffering steal my faith and joy?
As I’ve wrestled today, I’ve come to a place of rest. Thanks partly to my precious friend Sheila who sent me a prayer for my health. She knows me. She knows any physical weakness causes me to lose all my spiritual strength. I believe the enemy knows this and targets me here first. Sheila fought for me in prayer. She praised God. She thanked Him and focused on His character. She reminded me about my fear and faith. She wrote truth in love. I felt my spirit stir and wake up again. She focused on God in my suffering. And because of this, I received a gift. Hope! (Thank you, Sheila. I love you.)
I e-mailed her back and told her I wasn’t going to stay stuck in fear this time. Sure fear had me for a few hours, but not anymore. I’m going to praise God anyway. I’m going to blog. In pain or not I don’t care, I’m standing on God’s promise of love! He is worthy of my praise, all the time.
He cares deeply for my suffering.
He knows about my bug.
And chances are I will be healed–soon!
Until then, I continue to say God is good. He is my Comforter, my source of strength. He is my GOD. And I love Him with everything I am, suffering from a bug or not.
***********************
Will you praise Him with me? Tell Him how grateful you are for life, for your health, and would you please pray for my healing. Thank you, friends and family. I appreciate all of you.
Sweetie, I will be lifting you up in my prayers. I love you.
Hi sweet Tiffany…it was so great to speak with you last night and hear your voice!
I can’t wait to meet you in person!
I understand your anxiety. I have been through seasons where I struggled with this…panic attacks, etc. I still have times that I have ‘vain imaginings’ and have to the authority of Christ to defeat them!
Please know that I am praying for you, dear one…
Be blessed,
Susan
Tiffany, I will pray for you right now.
Lord, you alone are all knowing and all powerful. I pray that you will wrap your loving arms around my sister Tiffany and grant her your peace. May she feel your presence, especially while she’s not feeling well. May she know that you are with her and will comfort her. Thank you Lord that we can boldly come before you and ask in Jesus’ name. Amen
A big hug across the internet.
Tiffany:
Thanks for sharing the suffering with me today.
Jesus – Healing God of yesterday, today and forever,
Will You lift this burden of sickness from this dear sister who is suffering? She loves you and trusts You and chooses JOY in the pain. You are her everything.
Will You teach her what You want her to learn through this illness? Allow her to REST – to WAIT – and to TRUST Your Heart through this illness. Would You give her relief from the pain? May You restore her to complete health this day. In Your Precious and Holy Name,
Amen!
Choosing JOY with you,
Stephanie
[kneeling in prayer]
Great testament of faith. Our prayers will be with you.
Seeing someone else suffer can really bring on fear. I had a brother who died of a brain tumor a year before I was born. As I was growing up, whenever I had a headache, my mom would worry. One of my sisters wasn’t sure she even wanted to have kids after seeing our brother so sick and then dying. She does have 2 sons now, but when they were young, she never wanted to share anything with them regarding death.
I pray that you’ll be better soon. Good for you for standing on your faith in God!
Prayers that you’ll be on the mend soon, Tiffany. Being sick is no fun. On the other hand, it looks as though you’re learning valuable things from your bug.
God uses everything, doesn’t He?
Dearest Tiffany I pray the covering of our LORD healing power over your entire being. May His comfort and strength be with you as well in Jesus Name. Amen.
Lots of love and it was so good speaking with you last night. I’m so sorry you’re not feeling better yet but I’m sure you will soon.
Love you.
Oh, Sweet Friend.. I know EXACTLY what you mean.. really, I do. I’m almost convinced that I’ll die from cancer. The only question in my mind is when. (My Dad’s parents BOTH died from cancer.. I have a cousin on my Mom’s side that died from cancer. Then of course there’s our sweet little man – who also went to Heaven all to early because of the nasty disease) It doesn’t take much to set me off in a panic. Just like you, I have to MAKE myself focus on HIM. The ONE that I KNOW is in control of EVERYTHING. HE holds us all in HIS MIGHTY HANDS!
Let me pray with you..
God, I ask you right now to touch my friend Tiffany. Lord, we know that you came so that we could have ABUNDANT life. We know that the sick were healed and the dead were raised by Your WORD. God I ask You to speak HEALING over Tiffany. Not only for her body Lord, but also for her mind. Please FREE her LORD, from her fears. We know that Your Word says that those You have set free – are FREE INDEED!
I PRAISE YOU, LORD JESUS, for giving me friends like her to walk beside. I PRAISE YOU for Your WORD and for WHO YOU ARE! You are MIGHTY, You’re our HEALER, You’re our Savior!
Thank You, Lord, for hearing my prayers! Thank you in advance for the great work that we will see You do in Tiffany! In JESUS Name – Amen!
Different parts of our lives and the circumstances that surround them leave a lasting imprint on us. We can’t help that. Just as with the abuse. I’m sorry you are struggling with this. And I’m sorry I’ve never gotten around to filling out the shame survey….I just wasn’t ready and I know you can understand why. I will pray that our Lord will release you from this stronghold, and give you His peace. There is a quote I love that says…Peace is not the absence of trouble, it is the presence of God. Blessings!
Hey Tiffany,
I’d like to shout a great big AMEN after Tonya’s sweet, heartfelt prayer. (Isn’t she precious?)
And, I’m glad you did a post about this. We can now all AGREE with you that God will heal you both of your sickness and this spirit of fear. (I’m very aquainted with it, sad to confess!!)
We are standing with you and believing for your complete healing.
Love you♥
Praise you sweet Jesus for touching my wonderful friend!
Fear has often been my traveling companion. When I first became a single parent, my nerves were so shot that I became hysterical when I saw a cricket in my bathroom. My three-year-old son said, “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll take care of it.” And he did. I felt plagued by bugs that terrified me. I often threw a big dictionary on them, because I was too scare to smoosh them. Then I purchased bug spray that could shoot about six feet away from the bug! Talk about courage. LOL. “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them (bugs), for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you,” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NASB). I pray that you will feel better. Beth was suffering from a migraine today, but we talked about when we can get together. She’ll contact you. My schedule is flexible. Love, Scoti
Thank you for coming by my blog…I followed you here!
It is easy to see that your fear of illness stemmed from your brothers mis-diagnosis and battle for life. All of us have triggers in our lives like that…not only about health, but fear of divorce or lack of money. It is hard to break the grip. But being aware of it, as you are, praying against it, as you have done with your friend, weakens it’s affect.
Thank you for your transparency in this post.
I saw your post listed in my blogger dashboard and wanted to be sure I came by before going to bed. Please know I am praying for you!
Love and prayers,
K
I have had that same anxiety for so many years….just when I think I have it under control….it starts all over. And I am totally healthy, very rarely sick…but still I can just hear about someone with something and get a pit in my stomach…I hate the
fear and anxiety and have prayed for a release for years.
I will be praying for you.
You are so not alone in your health fears.. I think it’s more common than you think.. My dad had tongue cancer and whenever I have an inflamed taste bud.. I panic… I hope you feel better soon.
Kelly
http://www.amazingsalvation.com
Lots and lots of water to flush that bladder! And pure cranberry juice! So sorry you are ill. I only usually panic when it is my children. But I more than understand the attack of fear when it come to health issues. God recently put a healing touch upon me. I increased my nutrition reinstating drinking barely wheat grass juice and it has decreased the inflammation and pain of my 4 bulging discs and my one herniated one in my neck and all the associated pain from bones spurs in the area as well!
Jesus,
Thank you for comforting our sweet sister with prayers from a close friend. Continue to remind her that You alone are the God of all flesh and that nothing is too difficult for You. Comfort her in this process of healing and keep her eyes on You. We ask for Your touch upon her body to restore her to health. We know that You can do exceedingly, abundantly, more than we ask or imagine. I ask Your blessing upon her for a speedy and quick recovery. Remove any infection, please decrease any inflammation, and make her whole just as You have made her spiritually whole and perfect in Your sight. In Your precious name. Amen.
My sweet sister, as one who struggles with physical issues all the time, I’d like to leave you with a verse that gives me comfort…1 Peter 4:1-2 “Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God”.
I’ll also take a moment and pray for you precious one.
Big hugs to you!
praying for you Tiffany.
“It’s no coincidence that I’m under the weather today. Think about it. I just posted about suffering and then on bugs. Guess what? I’m suffering and have a bug.” How often does that seem to be the case?
I preached a sermon at church early this year about how Jesus uses the trials we go through to develop our character and draw us closer to Him, and that we need to trust in Him and let not our hearts be troubled. (This was something I learnt while recovering from depression.) Five minutes after the service concluded, my four year old fell headfirst onto a stone, and off to hospital we went. So I got to put my sermon into practice again right there.
I can also relate so much with your comment, “Will I really live today? Or will I let this suffering steal my faith and joy?” My latest blog post was on that exact theme. Praise the Lord that He forms us into overcomers, rather than be overcome by these trials.
Praying you’re feeling much better now.