Today I was going to write another Stop, Look and Listen post, but this video must come first. God is working deep in my heart lately about a few things that are painful. He wants to heal and restore more brokenness in me. I’m begging for a greater obedience and holiness. More of Him, less of me.
One area God is showing me is my past childhood sexual abuse. I thought I’ve dealt with this. Well, isn’t that like our God to reveal more. I sense I have not found complete healing yet. I know because of how I respond to triggers. Some things really get me going. Certain conversations. I still struggle to trust men, including my precious husband. Poor guy. It’s not his fault.
I get angry when the world doesn’t seem to care about the millions of children who are sex slaves or the fact that pornography is taken its toll across the world, destroying families and next generation of youth. This is a good anger if I challenge my energy right. Where’s our moral compass and compassion? Why aren’t we standing up and fighting back? I feel so helpless and often alone.
Anyway, this desire to be healed and holy has rocked my comfy world. This desire, an answer to my prayers, is huge inside me. Yeah! I can’t stand it. I want to live IN Him every hour of every day. I want to walk so intimately with God that I always love and forgive others quickly, no matter what. I want to live in such a way that when I feel the sorrow of the broken world, I respond with action, not just my typical numbing response of “Life is hard enough. I’ve got enough on my plate.”
What an adventurous ride I’m having! God is so sweetly giving me His amazing JOY along the way. A gigantic joy that cannot be explained any other way than to say GOD CAME NEAR and He is real. I know He hears and answers prayers. He is my greatest comforter and encourager and source of strength. I’m just so thankful to know God as Father, LORD, and best friend.
Do you have 10 minutes? This video speaks volumes about suffering. I love John Piper. His passion is mine too. I dream of the day that I can speak with the passions I feel trapped deep inside me. Speaking truth in love, without cowering because it’s a hard truth. I long to remind the comfort-driven America that we are missing the greatest gift as we pursue status or material things.
What we really need is a drink, just a sip of the love of God. When we do, nothing on earth will ever be the same. Grey vision will become full color. Dark days will seem like light. I think I have a glimpse of why people die for their faith. Knowing God is worth any measly sacrifice of comfort I may have today or sometime in the future.
Without my past sufferings, I can honestly say I doubt would have ever found God. So today with surrender and trust I say, Father God, thank you for all my hard times. For my suffering. Because of this, I know You, my Healer, and I am forever changed. Thank you.
(PLEASE PAUSE MUSIC PLAYER ON RIGHT COLUMN)
I too was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I have had many years of healing and can say that He has ministered to me again and again. I pray that you too find the complete healing you look for. I know also that the moments of greatest closeness to my God have come on the heals of suffering. I doubt I would ever have the strength to ask for them again, but when I look back I know that I grew in leaps and bounds in my faith. The times with the Lord while suffering were so sweet…praying for you sister.
I understand more than you know.
I’m praying for you. Allow God’s love to heal your heart while you walk this journey.
I love your words — “a comfort-driven America”. Isn’t that the truth?! And I love John Piper’s words — “Free from the Disneyland of America and begin to live lifestyles of missionary sacrifice that looks to the world like our treasure is in Heaven and not on the Earth.” Very powerful thought and challenge.
I struggle with trying to make my kids understand that they’ve got it much better than most people even if we live paycheck to paycheck. I also want them to understand that they need to look at different aspects of their lives as a privelege and not a right and that things aren’t always going to go their way just because we’re Christians. We’re here to serve not to be served.
I’m glad I took the time to listen to this one. I think John Piper’s words are so true. I’m tired of hearing talk of health, wealth and prosperity concerning following Jesus. It’s not so. He didn’t promise that. There was a point when I kept wondering what I was doing wrong but after studying the Bible again and again; suffering is a part of this life as a believer. But we are comforted by His presence and often through other believers.
Tiffany, you are precious. Although I’ve not experienced what you went through in your childhood, my mom did. In her later years before she died, she shared much pain with me. So, from a secondary perspective, I guess I could understand. I pray that you would be comforted and fully healed by our wonderful Savior. I guess we each have different wounds. But He loves each of us and cares about our concerns.
Hugs to you, friend. And now we’re friends on twitter; yeah!!
Hi Tiffany,
This was awesome. I saw it somewhere today and didn’t take the time to view it.
I’m so glad you posted it! Thanks…
What a wise man Piper is, and I love that the fact he preaches the WHOLE gospel. Not just what the church of America WANTS to hear.
Really it is HARD to be a Christian in this nation. We have not had to endure persecution for our faith like many other brothers and sisters around the world.
When we do go through hardships, we are not encouraged to testify about them and give glory to God because of them.
You do this so well Tiffany. You continually boast about the goodness of God in your life despite all you have endured.
Thanks for doing this again today.
Praying for God to heal you completely, body, soul and spirit!
Love you♥
This was wonderful sweetie. I understand the pain of sexual abuse, but I also know the healing of my Father. I give Him all the praise.
Such an honest post, and I love John Piper, too.
God readies us for service, I think. Which sounds wonderful and fine, but often that readying involves a lot of pain on our part. But He is using you now. I have no doubts about that. Using you in ways you can’t even realize.
Prayers for you, Tiffany.
I just wanted to stop by and say hello because I hadn’t visited in a bit. I was expecting a Stop, Look and listen and was going to add something to it… However, I wasn’t expecting this. Which I’m sure is a sign from the Lord. I’m going to come back tomorrow and give it my undivided attention and then comment.
Turning in for the night.
Love, peace and continued prayers. The Lord is going to bring you total peace from what you’ve been carrying in your heart!
My prayers are with you my sister n Christ!
Amen Tiffany. Conviction is washing over me. I enjoy so many comforts and blessings and give so little in proportion…Thanks for sharing. I have a new goal.
Much love,
Kathy
So glad to have found your blog through twitter. I’ll be glad to pray for you , God Bless you for telling all of your readers your love for our LORD . I know HE will help you through the pain of the past .
Mary
Tiffany, me too. I weep for the abused children of the world and for the ones who Jesus welcomes into heaven when their life is snuffed out here on earth.
I pray God will lead on this healing process. We are talking about incest on my blog but there are many similarities with child abuse.
Praying for you,
Jan
In many ways Americans have been insulated from the intense suffering much of the world suffers. Yes, we have horrible crime and child abuse, but we have been spared the ravages of protracted war. Will that ever happen here? I hope not!! But even more, if it does, I hope we can submit to the hand of God and suffer faithfully as Christians. In the meantime, we need to be voices for justice, like you are here, of the suffering of children in slave shops, etc. How many know that our country is one of the prime destinations of kidnapped and smuggled Eastern European girls? Two of our favorite allies are other prime destinations. That fact horrifies me in the face of a just and loving God.
Honest post my friend. I’ll watch the video later during lunch hour.
Can’t wait to talk with you this evening!
hugs
PS Check out my blog…I’ve got an updated prayer request there about our newest grandbaby.
Oh Tiffany, I cry with you as you still suffer but in a lesser degree.
I learned about that “gift” a few years ago and I find that there are still little sticks in my life. It was when I learned to “embrace the cross of suffering” and realize that everyone suffers, it is character building and it is is a gift from our Father, strange as it seems, it has matured me and made me hungry for meat. The lesson most learned was that I’m not alone and it has broken me so that I can let go of me and take on more of Jesus. I have learned much more about compassion and grace in my walk with Him.
Praying for you and your willingness to share your life with others. You never know who you will touch with the thought of you are not the only one.
Hugs,
Paulette
Wow…
as a woman surrounded by the suffering of others, this video ties a lot together for me…
wow.
peace~elaine
Absolutely inspiring. I was crying 4 minutes into it. So many profound statements, ie how did we go from 12 followers to over a billion? So true, from suffering. I’ve experienced so many sad and difficult times throughout my life but nothing like the abandonment of my husband. God had a plan for him to walk out of my life because “JESUS” my Lord and Savior walked in!
Loved this and thank you for posting it. Since I’ve been saved, the Lord has lead me to so many wonderful Christians and you are one of them!
Love, peace and continued prayers
China.
What a powerful video! Thank you so much for sharing it. Tiffany, I understand your stuggle and the shame behind it, all too well. It is a thorn in the flesh that only the Lord can heal, and part of the cross we bare. I’m sorry you’ve had to share in the same type of struggle. Too many of us have. Bless you sweet sister.