In honor of my brother Ryan’s birthday today. I am reposting an entry I wrote in 2005. Ryan, happy birthday. May God bless every day of your life. I love you.
This post is in honor of one of my life hero’s, my brother, Ryan. (Hopefully I’m quoting his life and words correctly.) Ryan is hugging SANTA, my husband.
When Ryan was three and a half, he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called rhabdomyosarcoma. Ryan endured two long years of chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. Against all odds and thanks to much prayer, my Make-A-Wish brother survived. But not without scars to prove it.
His physical suffering didn’t end there. As a teenager, he rode his bike up a homemade ramp and crashed, landing on his head. In the hospital, doctors told him he permanently damaged his tenth cranial nerve, which in turn, affected his swallowing and his voice.
This summer I got to know the “real” Ryan. I spent three days with him. Not under ideal circumstances. My grandpa died. I flew to Minnesota to attend the funeral and there met up with Ryan and my parents. Unfortunately, my other brother and sister weren’t able to join us.
Every night in the hotel room with my parents, Ryan and I laid there in the dark and talked. This was precious to me. Since I’m 14 years older than him, I felt like I never really got to know him. When I was in high school, I babysat Ryan, he was a baby. Back then, I had my mind set on other things. You know, boys and how fat and pale I thought I was.
Ryan is a wise young man. I asked him whether or not he thought about plastic surgery to widen his face. Radiation stopped his jaw bones from growing at age three. As a child, he visited numerous surgeons about reconstructive surgery. However, insurance wouldn’t covered it.
He replied, “I’ve thought about fixing my face, but then again, it wouldn’t be me.”
In that moment, my mind flashed to his email address, “cuztomguy@….. ” I realized Ryan accepts the custom face God gave him. That’s more than I can say. I struggle accepting my imperfections, like my varicose veins.
In another conversation, I asked Ryan about his dreams. He answered, “Yeah, I have dreams for myself, but most of my dreams are for other people.” I love that. Yet it hurt realizing I’m so self focused. I dream for others too, but my first dreams are all about me, what I want to accomplish, see, or become.
Ryan has an amazing heart that many might miss. His damaged voice doesn’t project loud enough in a crowd, so you’ll often find him silent. He’s blind in one eye, so if you’re on his left side he might miss your gestures. However, Ryan doesn’t miss what really matters. He genuinely loves and dreams for others, and he accepts himself, as a custom guy.
When I look at Ryan, I don’t see his scars, I see beauty.
(c) 2005 Tiffany Stuart
I,too,find fault with things about myself. Thank you for reminding me it the heart that God looks at.
Your brother sound like his heart is fixed on what is important…not himself.
Wish him”Happy Birthday”for me.
love,
Tammy
Sweet sweet post in honor of your brother! Happy Birthday to Ryan.
Oh, my goodness. Your brother is indeed a wise young man. His humility and sweet heart have touched me deeply, Tiffany. God places these people in our lives to teach, no? But also to love.
What a beautiful young man.
Blessings to you this day!
How precious! Too often we look at the outside and not the heart of someone. Ryan is evidence that this is a wrong way of thinking. May we remember to look at everyone, including ourselves, the way Jesus sees them. Thanks for the reminder!
I hope Ryan has a wonderful birthday!
What a precious brother you have! I’m so glad that you were able to spend that special time getting to know him better a few months back…what a gift. Hope he has a wonderful birthday!
Blessings,
Tracy
Oh Tiffany! I’m sitting here in a bucket of tears! Ryan is such a beautiful person. Please wish him a happy birthday for me.
“Yeah, I have dreams for myself, but most of my dreams are for other people.”
— BEAUTIFUL!
Quite a man your brother sounds like!
Thanks for sharing.
Bonnie
extendedhope.com
Tif, those words make me emotionally cry tears….Dad
This birthday and every birthday he has sometimes brings back those many days we spent in the hospital and home care wondering if we would have more birthdays. Ryan may have have some challenges but if people would ever get to know him he truly is a special guy. Let us all pray that the Lord would send him a special gal to share his life with. This truly would fill one of his deepest desires I believe.May the Lord continue to watch over him and grow in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord. May you have many many more birthdays!! Mom
How precious. Hope his birthday was full of blessings. Praying that the Lord send him that special someone that He has prepared for him.
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope he had a wonderful birthday. He sounds like a special young man and I pray God’s choice for him will come along side him on his journey.