Why didn’t my kids arrive with personalized instruction manuals? Doesn’t God know I need them? And, right about now! A book written about raising children isn’t good enough for me. The Bible has answers but I still need more clarity. I need step-by-step instructions, customized to my children.
What can I do to make sure they will follow the straight and narrow path? I worry about their future, especially their teen years. Will their childlike faith prevail? When I was a teen, I wanted to be liked and to find my true love. I found out the hard way that wasn’t what I really wanted or needed.
My mind is racing lately with ideas about how to handle the teen years with my kids. I’m stuck in the middle— wanting to be liked and wanting to control. Neither one is a worthy road to travel. My son turns 13 in June. My daughter is just four years behind him. I feel like the ride is just beginning to accelerate and I have both feet pressed down on invisible brakes that aren’t working. So I brace myself for the adventure.
And I’m scared. The world is full of temptations. Addictions can start at any age. Pornography. Gambling. Alcohol. Drugs. Compulsive spending. The media advertises beer during football games and makes it look cool and even sexy. That drives me crazy. The truth looks so different. Visit a rehab center. Ask someone who’s lost it all. He or she will tell you a different story.
I’m venting tonight. Wondering what I should do. Boundaries. I need to move them out soon. But how? And when? Where do I start?
I know my hope rests in God alone. But the truth is I don’t trust God completely. I thought I have surrendered my kids into God’s hands, however my fear shows me otherwise.
So I’m on a journey towards TRUST.
I need those of you who have gone before me. You have wisdom. I also need those of you with teens to share your stories with me, so I know I’m not alone. I need other moms.
But ultimately, I need God to guide me. I need God to show me how to love a teenager, and to remind me to say “I love you” and give a hug daily. I need God to lead me as I pray for my kids. I need God to remind me what it was like to be a teen. I need God to correct me if I am being too critical or too tough on them. I need God to help me be a good listener when they need to talk. I need God—period.
Without God, I would quit my job as a mother. The road ahead is too uncertain, too risky, too hard. I will travel with God, but not without hesitancy, but I will go. For the sake of my children, I will go but only if God takes the wheel. I just hope I can let go of my white knuckled grip and learn to enjoy the scenery.
Parenting is an exquisitely painful process of loving our children enough to let them go–to let them walk into the future and become who God intended them to be.
One of my prayers is that I would never get in the way of what God wants for my children.
I have very similar thoughts, but the difference is my daughter is only 5. But, regardless of the age, I still am always concerned for her growth and her protection from this world. I can’t offer specific advice, but I can say for myself as I come to the end of myself, Jesus is there. “Jesus take the wheel” is such a great song and reminder of our place and His place. We’re truly just passengers in this journey called life and He’s our captain.
When nothing on which to lean remains, When strongholds crumble to dust; When nothing is sure but that God still reigns, That is just the time to trust. It’s better to walk by faith than sight, In this path of yours and mine;And the darkest night, when there’s no outer light Is the time for faith to shine. Streams in the Desert
Whatever concerns us, concerns our Father. “For whoever touches you touches the apple of (my) eye” Zech. 2:8 He has your children’s best interest at heart and Oh, how He loves them.
My heart for you is to keep pressing on and Trust your Saviour for guidance, direction and WISDOM.
I wanted to encourage you with something I learned this week about Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it”. I learned that “train” has two meanings: one is to disciple and the other is to dedicate. The first means what you would think: to teach God’s word and His ways to our children. The second means that we would dedicate our children to Him and TRUST HIM for the results. GOD will take responsibility for how they turn out when we have done what He asks. Finally, I learned that the word “depart” means “to turn from” or “to turn off”. What this suggests is that God will never allow His Word, His truths, His path to be “turned off” in our childrens ears. Even if they are wayward, perhaps ESPECIALLY when they are wayward, He will continue to woo them back to Him with the truths they were taught as a child. They may still be rebellious, but He will never stop relentlessly pursuing them. As hard as it is to grasp, He loves them more than we do, and desires the best for them even more than we do. We are to take heart. We are not in the battle alone. Our heavenly Father is waging the war for us when we are weary and burdened. Praise His Name!
Thanks friends for words of life and encouragement. I need them and will continue to do so for years to come. 🙂
Beth, I have so much respect for you and the way you have raised three teens already. I count on you when I have questions. You are my dear friend, my writing buddy, and one of the greatest encouragers I know.
Melisa, Thank you for sharing from my favorite devotional, Streams in the Desert. I, too, thought of that song as I wrote this. Thank you for journeying with me. I love your heart for God and your writing.. Hint, hint.
Katie,
The teacher in you is coming out again and shining brightly. Thank YOU! That was great insight, insight that I have never heard taught like that before. And just when I needed it. Thank you for taking the time to share what you are learning. I can totally relate to the truth that God will relentlessly pursue His children. I went wayward and He never gave up until I surrendered. Boy am I glad I did.
Love,
Tiffany