I can be a real pain to my husband. I’m a natural exhorter, which can be good or bad depending on how I use it. When it comes to my marriage, my exhortation comes across as nagging. Or it sends the message to Derek that he is not good enough. I can easily diagnosis the weak spots in both of us and offer ways to improve. I wish I knew how to express my passion for intimacy and living life out loud more effectively. Without emotion would be a good place to start. As a lover of learning, I’m always reading books that inspire me. Love them! And because of this, I want to share and challenge both myself and my spouse.
What comes out of my reading? Frustration. A longing uncovered. I feel a deeper desire to live with more adventure, laughter, and love NOW. I love to dream. I’ve even made a list of things I want to do before I die. Often I wonder if I shouldn’t become a life coach or a motivational speaker because when I get on a roll, I cannot be quiet. Like a fire that can’t be quenched, I burn. I want everyone to know life can be so much more if we are willing to dig deeper, look longer and listen.
I think about Jesus and how he wasn’t that popular in his hometown. What I am learning is that I need to curb my excitement and quit pointing out the places that my marriage need improvement. For some reason I think the future is all up to me. My thoughts are if I don’t pursue change, change won’t happen. So I continue to push for goals and it gets me the opposite of what I really want. Tension in my home. The rhythm of the daily grind becomes an irritated, high-pitch racket. The truth is I am carrying a load that isn’t mine. It’s His.
My talk with God:
“But God, can’t I carry a small part of it?”
No.
“Why?”
I am the one who works in all situations, not you. Quit trying to force change.
Your job is to trust and rest in Me. Trust in my plan, my timing, my dreams for your life and marriage.
“But I’m not sure how to do that?”
Let go. Let me carry your burden. Let me take over. Your control is not working.
“I am afraid.”
I know. Allow my perfect love to cast out your fear. It’s time for you to give yourself a break and let me take the wheel.
“Okay, but..”
No buts. You can trust me to finish what I have started–both in you and in Derek.
(The wrestling match continues. But let me tell you, I’m getting weak and nearing surrender. I here the song lyrics,”Lay down your burdens. I will carry you. I will carry you, my child” whispering in the background.)
I invite you to visit http://www.PowerUpLove.com real people sharing real stories about how Love has really impacted and changed their lives. Share your story, struggles, or testimonies. Blessings…
Tiffany,
It’s amazing how we think He needs our help, huh? Why is resting in Him so difficult? My husband will sometimes take me to look outside at the stars and say “How did He do that without you”?…Hmmm
Thank you for your sweetness today and always on my blog.
Blessings to you, sweet sister!
Ah, sweet friend….. I see you there, you’re so close to where He wants you….
SO love your heart!
Hugs,
Julie
Excellent post Tiffany – I get what you are saying…I think many of the same thoughts in my own marriage…
Debra – I love the comment your husband gives you…I need to remember that too.
It is so hard to relinquish that control that we think we have but really don’t… sometimes the battle between my flesh and the Spirit is so fierce that I do not even understand it… it is like Paul says in Romans, I do what I don’t want to do, and what I want to do I do not do…
Surrender… that is what we all need to do, on a daily, and even hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute basis…
thanks for being transparent and sharing with us…
Blessings!
Hey Tiffany,
Oh, how I can identify. I’ve been rebuked by my spiritual mom’s many times on this very topic!!
And yes, after all these years, STILL LEARNING…
Someone once told me, do you want GOD to contend with your husband or you? She went on to say, God does a much better job, He brings results that truly last…
Learning to surrender too,
Susan
We’re all in this together my friend~
“the wrestling match continues”
oh yeah, sister! We can so relate! Will the match cease this side of heaven?
Where would we be without that grace/grace/grace…
Beautiful… this is what I needed to hear, it’s very difficult for me to lay down my burdens at his feet. I have to be in control, make my point come across, but I need to relax and trust in God. It’s a struggle for me too!
I have a similar wrestling scenario. For me, it’s a perfectionist/control issue as I want the results the way I envision it. But I’m learning little by little, God’s visions and plans for my life are more than than I can imagine.
Engrafted by His Grace-
Oh yes. We CAN trust Him to finish what HE started ….in us.
I am sorry I havent’ been by in several days…but I know you are living life and are busy as well! I love reading and feeding at your table! I am always blessed by the TRUTH that is always found here!
You are a blessing!
The greatest gift you can give your husband and yourself it to focus on yourself. Stop trying to improve him and just love him for who and what he is. If you want adventure and growth then focus on you, you, you. You are an endless adventure waiting to be discovered and only you can know you.