TeawithTiffany

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People Pleasing Problem

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This past week I uncovered I really struggle with people pleasing. Before then, I would’ve denied it. I really thought I was my own person, strong enough to speak honestly. But the truth is sometimes it’s hard for me to BE ME.

I feel bad if telling the truth hurts someone. So I tend to hide my feelings. I’d rather avoid the conflict, which really is lying to myself and others. Ouch.
After a few weeks or months, I eventually open up and I always feel better afterwards. It takes a while for me to be courageous enough to share my battle.

Another way I try to please others is I don’t take action when I sense God is leading me. I’ve pushed away God’s voice telling me to speak to women because I worry what others might think. Especially stay at home mom friends. I don’t want them to feel bad, like they aren’t doing enough by being there for their kids. That is a huge ministry. I’ve been there. Mine are in school all day now.

I also struggle sharing with those that have known me for years and years. They’ve seen me at my worst. I feel like they still see me as that wounded person who hurt others. I feel like they don’t realize how much God has done in my heart. I’m not that person anymore. Yet I don’t know how to let go of my thoughts that they are judging me.

Anyway, God is hammering this scripture in my heart lately.

Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

Letting go of what others think of me and wanting their approval isn’t easy for me. I want people to like me. I’m challenged to step out in the areas God is calling me and quit looking for others to approve of my decisions. I don’t like this feeling. It’s not a safe place. But living for God never is. But I really want to live out God’s purpose for my life. Which means I need to submit to his voice, not the voices of others.

Sound familiar? If so, what helps you work through this?

Comments

  2. Tiffany,

    I so understand your struggles and claimed Galatians 1:10 to help me evaluate what I’m doing and why I’m doing it!

    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and for your prayer for Daniel and his family. I’m going to get a copy of everyone’s comments and prayers to his parents before the surgery so they can focus on God’s love and the love of His children through their thoughts and prayers. His surgery will be Friday Feb 1st at 7am. I will update my blog as soon as his parents call with info.

    Thanks so much!

  3. Tiffany, I feel the same way. I think of myself as a peace maker, but then I realize, maybe it’s just that I’m trying to avoid conflict and not listen to God’s promptings. It’s hard to just BE ME as you said, but that’s where God wants us. When we stop being so preoccupied with what others think, He can start to work in and through us. It’s not really about us, anyway, so why do I worry what people think of me?