She Speaks Conference Scholarship

Today I read a friend’s blog (Thanks, Heather) and found out about an opportunity to win a free scholarship to the She Speaks conference by Lysa Terkeurst. My heart flipped thinking about this opportunity. I’d love to win. I’ve been praying for direction with my life and the desire to talk to women hasn’t left me. I don’t know where to begin. And I am terrified.

My friend who’s a literary agent told me this week I need to work on building my platform if I want to write a book. I appreciated her honesty but deep down I was frustrated. How do I do that? I hate the thought of marketing my name. Who wants to hear God’s message through my life story? I want the focus to be HIM.

Then yesterday another friend told me Satan attacks the area of our giftness more than anywhere else. That’s an interesting thought. Because I’ve been humiliated on stage throughout my life.

I dropped out a college because I’d have to take a communications class (speeches).

But for some reason, I continue to desire to talk to women. I want to shout about God’s goodness and love. I want all women to know they have value–regardless. I pray often, “Here I am Lord. Send me.”

One incident sticks out to me about being attacked. At my ten-year high school reunion, one former classmate who was then a news anchor for a California station said to me,

“Oh, I remember you. You were the one who messed up on your only line in drama.”

Thanks. Nice to see you again too.

The stories continue. I won’t bore you though.

And about my writing. I never understood what I read as a kid. I hated to read, it magnified how stupid I was. I was the one who got low scores in comprehension on state mandated tests. I never wanted to be a writer.

However starting at a young age, I’ve always wished I could share my heart but I was too shy to speak. I even had to go to “speech class” in third grade. I never pushed my way into conversations. Still don’t much. But deep inside, I ache to express myself. It’s like a volcano brewing under the surface. Someday it’s gonna blow!!

Over the past four years, God has opened the writing door for me as I’ve stepped out in faith. He’s made the writer path clearer than clear. Every time I try to find a “real job,” another writing door opens. Now I can’t imagine not writing. It’s an outlet for me. A place to pour out my thoughts. A safe haven. A place to be me and allow others to listen in. I love it. And I even get paid for it. What more could I ask for?

Enough of my thoughts. I could keep on rambling.

Now it’s your turn to enter. Visit She Speaks and the link above. Maybe you will be the winner. If you are, come back and tell me. I will celebrate with you.

God knows who needs to go and why. I pray He handpicks someone who needs the encouragement and affirmation.