I don’t know about you, but I put off things that matter. Like saying an encouraging word to my son. Kissing my husband hello when he returns from the office. Or paying the bills. I say I’m not administrative. Truth is I don’t want to know how much I’ve spent. Another truth: I’m afraid to be too vulnerable with those I love. I hide the joy and the tears in order to act all together. After all, I’m the grown up right? And in the process, Tiffany dries up. She becomes disconnected from real living.
This Sunday I am sharing part of my story (the hard stuff)to about fifteen incarcerated teen girls with a dear friend. We’ve prayed about it. We’ve talked about it for six months plus. And we’ve had it on the calendar since May. We’ve felt excited and called to encourage and love them as they are. Yet guess what?
I’ve put off preparing my talk. And I’ve put off praying about it. Why? Because I doubt I’m suppose to go now that I’m committed. All my insecurities are present. The voices busy saying:
“You don’t have anything worth saying.”
“Who do you think you are?”
Why is this? I’m even blogging now when I could be jotting down notes. Hmm. How can I get over this habit of procrastination? I’m good at excuses. I tell myself, “You work better under pressure.” It’s fear again! But I’m determined to be there come Sunday and be real and share from my heart and love them just Jesus. So why do I make being me so difficult? Why do I feel like I have to be perfect to speak life to hurting girls?
Oh the battle we all must fight when we set outside our comfort zone. What do you put off doing? And why?
(Another photo of our vacation, Crater Lake, the backview of my son and husband. Gotta love it!)
I can SO RELATE to what you are saying here. I feel like I avoid…life.
Boy…I wish that we lived closer…we could have some great coffee times. 🙂
God uses us just the way we are; humble, broken and far from perfect. You have the rare gift of humility and transparency that I witness in few people. This speaks volumes to your character and how God has used you in the lives of others. What we think is weak, he sees as strong and uses for good. You are loved by many and your purpose is being fulfilled everyday just by being you. By the way, great picture and song.
Hard stuff ministers to the hurting. Go ahead and share your pain and where you are today and where you hope to be in the future. Hardships builds character. Jesus is the way. We are all hurting broken girls moving toward his kingdom.
Okay…I found your blog tonight by chance and LOVE it! I love the things you share and the way you share them. I will definitely remember you this Sunday. Be sure to post about how it goes because I will be checking in to find out.
You really do have a great blog. Keep it up!
In fact, I’ve looked more and am adding you to my sidebar…I LOVE YOUR BLOG! 🙂
your humility is showing and is great to see!!